People have been writing in diaries and committing their thoughts to paper for as long as the written word has been with us. It's said that writing down one's thoughts can be theraputic and, just as dreams are supposed to be an unconscious ordering of the mental 'filing cabinet', conscious writing also supposedly helps to clarify and organize one's thoughts and feelings.
I hesitated before creating this blog but probably (fortunately!) no-one will read it anyway. Internet sites have become the modern equivalent of diaries and have proliferated to the point where the number of them on the Web almost guarantees anonimity. Anything I write here is really for me anyway rather than being aimed at a third party. It's the therapy I need, not the publicity or notoriety. Why not simply write in a diary then...? I don't know. I just find it easier putting this stuff on 'my' website and having it stored electronically rather than using paper. In a number of years, if I'm still alive, it will be an interesting exercise to look back on my feelings about 'life, the Universe and everything' to see how they have changed. They almost certainly will have as I know only too well that many of my attitudes, fears, concerns and beliefs are fundamentally different now than when I was a very young man. Age and experience changes one's outlook on life - and not always for the better. I am considerably more cynical and far less idealistic now than when I was 21. I have lost my religious faith, I am much more argumentative and objectionable and I have compromised, capitulated, broken pledges and 'interpreted' rules to the point where I no longer believe that I can claim to be a thoroughly 'good' man. Don't misunderstand, I'm as moral and upstanding as most people and better than many people I've encountered, but over the years, I've started to fall short of my own expectations and my self-image has undoubtedly suffered. On the upside, I believe I'm more passionate, committed and determined (or do I just mean stubborn?) now than a decade or two ago. Maybe further changes - good or bad - will become apparent as my blog unfolds.
If anyone does read this, there will be attitudes which they may agree with and, without doubt, other opinions which they will vehemently disagree with. I don't care; as I've already said, this exercise is to exorcise (isn't the English language wonderful!) the vitriol in me, not to enter into a debate with a stranger. So, here goes - in no particular order...........
There was a time when I'd only ever led a very sheltered life. I was so innocent it was dangerous for me to be out! In the second phase of my life, I've gone out of my way to experience the unusual, the risky, the whacky, the strange, the downright dangerous and reckless.....and these are some of the sayings I've come across which resonate and I know to be true along with some of my own thoughts..... Read more
There are almost too many to list and the number's growing. As the World gets closer and closer to disappearing around the u-bend, I find I'm becoming less and less tolerant of the nonsense we all have to put up with in our daily lives..... Read more
Although it feels good to have a rant about things which wind you up, life's not all bad. Yin and Yang, black and white, good and bad..... there's balance between the extremes. For everything which has the potential to send me on a homicidal killing spree, there's something which balances it out which calms me, amuses me, fills me with joy, brings out my passion, makes me cry or just reaffirms my faith in Human nature ..... Read more
There's no doubt in my mind that we're fucking up this planet in a big way. Greed and consumerism has brought us, as a Species, to the point where our arrogance at being at the top of the food chain means that ..... Read more
At the end of the day, people can treat as 'holy' or 'sacred' whatever they want... cows, statues, books, wailing walls, buildings, relics... whatever. But at some point we surely have to start to question the logic.
12th March 2021
Makes you think doesn't it? Do we have democracy or just the illusion of democracy. Are these guys in it to make the Country a better place or to line their own pockets? Is the opportunity to put a cross in a box for one of a handful of candidates (none of whom inspire you, understand or relate or empathise with you or have ever had your life experiences and hardship) every 4 years REALLY what democracy should mean?
(Some of the percentages may be slightly out of date as we seem to be creating millionaires at an alarming rate because of rampant escalating property values but the principle remains the same.)
12th March 2021
Boris saves the day! I really don't think so. The press keep referring to "the Prime Minister's roadmap to take us out of lockdown". It's the ultimate ego trip for Johnson. Everyone is on the edge of their seat waiting for him to grant us a small dispensation from lockdown restrictions. I find it quite disturbing to see the extent to which our personal liberties have been stripped away during this pandemic. I can well understand why some restrictions were necessary and I have abided by them (mostly); I am quite prepared to socially distance, not travel internationally or unnecessarily, work from home, wear a mask in public, not go to the football/cinema/restaurants and not throw parties but I have to admit that I find the idea of a sitting Government (which we have allegedly elected) telling me that I cannot go to see my own children or grandchildren a bit much. That's not about social distancing; it's entirely about control. Whatever the circumstances, the idea of being forbidden to see my Sons or my granchildren - it effectively being criminalised - actually really angers me. Needless to say, I have chosen to 'interpret' that particular edict from our fearless leader.
We are hopefully coming to the beginning of the end of this awful period thanks to the vaccine rollout but whether we will ever completely rid ourselves of the Covid-19 virus (or whatever it mutates into) or whether it is something which we will just have to adapt to coping with remains to be seen. Fingers crossed.
8th March 2021
I am sick to the back teeth of being asked if I am 'Woke'. Apart from the poor English and the misappropriation of the apparent meaning of the word by different interest groups (Social, Conspiracy theorists, race campaigners etc etc), I find the patronising nature of the question to be quite offensive. It's like they're saying "I know something you don't know and I am graciously going to educate you." It's the same reason I don't trust men of the cloth; a preist, a rabbi, an ayatollah, a religious leader is essentially saying that he has the inside track on divinity; he has god's ear and if you fall in line, he will instruct you on how to secure your place in the afterlife. Such utter, utter bullshit..
There are too many people in this modern world who are willing (or need) to be told what to think and are gullible enough to buy into the latest fashion/belief/rumour/conspiracy theory. I can only conclude that they are incapable of independent thought because they are dumb as dogshite. If the deluge of moronic re-posting/re-tweeting of misinformation and primitive scare stories is typical output from those who are 'woke' then I will stay 'asleep' thank you very much
Ah well... another National lockdown.
I reckon that the table above represents the toff fuckwit's entire vocabulary. I have zero confidence in the current Government (and especially in Boris Johnson) and I cannot ever remember during my lifetime a Cabinet team comprising SO many sneering, obnoxious, patronising, delusional, inept wankers. I understand that dealing with Covid 19 is a difficult task but there've been so many U-turns and flip-flops that credibility has all but evaporated. They send kids back to school for ONE DAY to mix and then go into lockdown. Every piece of bad news is delivered by Johnson, Hancock, odious Gove et al with an almost undetectable smirk.
They leave garden centres open so all the old folks can go and congregate with their masks under their noses. It's not hard to reach the conclusion that they haven't a fucking clue about how to beat this thing.
5th January 2021
What caused this then? Horse, Aeroplane or Motorbike?? All 3 activities have some degree of risk. But all things in life are sweetened by risk. If you can look at a scar and smile at the memory then keep doing whatever gave you the scar.
A new variant (or two) of our constant companion, Covid 19, has been found and is ramping up the number of cases in London and the South East. However, a recently study published in the Lancet suggests that there have been no cases of patients with the 'variant' Covid needing ventilation. Whew, that's a relief. But then we realise that the variant the study is commenting about is not the B.1.1.7 variant which they've detected in the South of the Country but an earlier (unreported by the news media) variant. The B.1.1.7 variant is more easily transmitted but there isn't enough data yet to determine whether the actual symptoms are more or less severe or simply the same. It's one of over 2000 (!) variant strains of the virus which have been identified to date - viruses mutate; it's simply what they do. Most of the variants have mutated in relatively inconsequential ways and are of no significance. Occasionally, a mutation will alter several aspects of the virus and can make it more or less communicable and can make symptoms more or less severe. My hope is that the dominant strain becomes the most easily transmissible but the least symptomatically severe. Then I would definitely be out there licking faces and windows and door handles .
I've said from the outset that whilst this Virus needs to be taken seriously and common sense needs to be applied by all, the Governmental response to it has been totally out of proportion. I'm almost convinced that Johnson, Hancock and the rest of the Cabinet are beginning to enjoy the process of cowing people into fearful submission. What's the point in having power if you can't wield it?.
I alternate between being concerned about the virus (as there are simply too many medical experts and non-political commentators from the scientific community who are themselves concerned for me to believe that it's all a hoax) to sometimes feeling like I'm being toyed with and manipulated. On the other hand, I can see no rational reason why a UK Government would fuck up its own economy to lock people in their own homes, obliterate the hospitality and travel industry, rack up unprecedented peacetime National Debt and turn half the population into hypochondriacal mental cases. So there's clearly a perceived threat from Covid.
I still don't want to catch it.
29th December 2020
I went to see my Doctor a week or so ago. Well, technically it was my AME (Aviation Medical Examiner) to undergo my routine annual aviation medical which allows me to continue to exercise my flying privileges. He did the usual ECG, eyesight, urine test etc. but although I got my medical certificate, he also gave me some bad news.....
Apparently, I'm terminally ill and although I always thought I would live forever, he has only given me a limited amount of time to live. It seems that, in his professional opinion, I may only have another 30 or 40 years left.
This has made me take stock. I think I'd better start living my life to the full! It's not a rehearsal and I'm not delusional enough to think there's a Heaven or re-incarnation so it's full throttle from now on!!!
23rd August 2020
Sad but true. Actually, on reflection, not sad at all. Animals are SO much better than people. No betrayal, duplicity, scheming, money-grabbing, dishonesty, disingenuity, lying, backstabbing or manipulation. You know where you are with an animal; if it doesn't like you, it bites you. If you show it understanding and compassion and care for it, it responds in kind. There's an innocence and an honesty about an animal; they're almost child-like. All an animal needs is to be treated with love and respect and it will die for you. Humans may be top of the food chain but it doesn't mean we're the best life forms on this planet. Far from it... Rats have more moral fibre and integrity than some of the people I've met. THAT is sad but true.
July 30th 2020
It has to be said that Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok etc., etc. have not improved the World or the Human condition at all. In fact, I would argue very strongly that all of these 'social media' outlets have had an overall damaging effect. Facebook is full (and I mean FULL!) of the sort of bollocks which frankly makes me totally despair of Human Beings. If it's not some crackpot, tinfoil-hat-wearing, conspiricy theorist telling me to get 'woke' and pronouncing (on limited and skewed data) that the new world order is coming, chemtrails are going to make me a mindless drone, Agenda 21 is all about the Illuminati decimating the population, 5G and smartmeters are military weapons and Covid 19 is just a lie to get the rank and file to conform and live in fear, it's some grifting bastard trying to flog me some cheapo shit that I don't need at 5 times the price the little 9 year old Chinese sweatshop worker's bosses have flogged it to him for. Or someone showing me their kids or their holiday snaps and pretending their life is perfect (which it isn't - and the obvious need for external affirmation evidenced by posting that sort of bullshit proves how pathetic and ordinary and drab their lives really are). Or some self-appointed fitness guru cunt selling me an online course on how to build a six-pack, or defend myself, or chat up girls, or learn a language in a week. It's fucking insulting, gutter activity and the odd amusing video of a dog jumping off a roof or somebody pulling wheelies on a bike or a heartstring-twanging story of the poor neglected donkey being given salvation doesn't come close to redeeming it. I am fucking sick of the incessant deluge of ill-informed bullshit, desperate, needy "look-at-me" bollocks and conman crap. I will never forgive Facebook for giving Morons a platform to pour moronic shit all over more Morons which breeds even more fucking Morons.
The conspiricy theorists often vilify Bill Gates (for no reason that I'm convinced by). For my part, I say "Fuck you Zuckerberg" and his ilk. History should portray Facebook as an intellectual setback; a devolution. Hopefully, we'll evolve out of it and look back with embarassment at our folly but I'm really not so sure. I fear we might just carry on with the dumbing-down, the distortion of the truth and the mindless commercialism.
The people on this planet - especially in the privileged, affluent, Western, 'first-World' countries - should start to take a long, hard look at themselves.
29th July 2020
When I first got Lady B, there were those on the yard who thought I wouldn't last 3 months. I'm happy to say I've proved them wrong. I've had Lady now for nearly 4 years and my relationship with a magnificent, powerful, beautiful creature gets better every day. No-one will ever truly know the peace, fulfilment and pure joy she has given me. Believe me, it's cheap therapy people; you should all try it.
Being there twice or sometimes 3 times a day, each day without fail, feeding, cleaning, riding, grooming and knowing that however neat and tidy her stable is when you leave her at night, she'll have trashed it again by the follwing morning (like a rebellious teenager) is challenging and character-building. But when she greets me with a whinney and a nuzzle and she all but talks to me, or she runs to me in the field when I go to bring her in, or when she slips into top gear and we gallop, I can't help grinning from ear to ear. She's calming and soothing mostly and yet in different circumstances, she can be exhilerating and scary. Looking after a horse is like most things in Life.... the more you put in to doing it right, the more rewarding it becomes.
12th June 2020
Covid-kit 2020. I don't think this look will catch on. Even I don't recognise me. Can't wait to try go through passport control like this!
20th May 2020
9th May 2020
Clapping for the NHS
The Muppets are at it again. So now, every Thursday at 8pm, everyone goes out into the street from their locked-down homes and claps like a moron for the 'heroes' of the NHS. This idea (borrowed from the Netherlands where they probably did it once and then sensibly, didn't repeat it) was suggested (with a good heart, I'm sure) by a Dutch ex-pat now living in Brixton. it was a nice gesture but now it's happening every week. The idiots near me are shooting shotguns and letting fireworks off too (Do some people stockpile fireworks at home? They must do because any fucking excuse and some people seem to want to set them off - much to the consternation of my horse and my cat!). You can now be 'named and shamed' for NOT going out and making a racket. Peer pressure and self-righteous, virtue signallers abound. Well I'm simply not doing it and anyone who wants to judge me for that can fuck right off.
I don't want to seem unsupportive of the NHS staff who are frontline; I'm not. I fully appreciate the risks and stress that they are subject to and voluntarily putting themselves at risk by continuing to care for patients without the appropriate protections in place is laudible. However, I shall not be told how to react to these professionals continuing to do their jobs. Clapping is a totally empty gesture and a number of friends and contacts who work front line for the NHS (not in the accounts department or one of the thousands of non-medical staff working for the NHS who never see a ward or a sick person!) have confided that the clapping makes not a jot of difference and they'd much prefer PPE; or a pay rise. It is, as I say, a totally empty gesture and what I object to most is the idea that if I don't follow the 'sheeple' and go out and slap my hands together like a brain-dead, epileptic walrus at a specific time which some other fucker has arbitrarily decided upon, I am somehow being 'disrespectful'.
We do the empty gesture too much in the UK. Wearing a Poppy is another example. If you don't wear one, you're a social pariah but most people who sport a Poppy (and some people do, not just around Rememberance Day, but most of the year) have totally lost sight of what it is they are supposed to be signifying. It's become more about being SEEN to be wearing a poppy and - as always - raising money than anything else. I'm not unappreciative of the sacrifices made by the armed forces - particularly the conscripts - and both of my own Grandfathers fought and were gassed in the trenches in France in WW1, my Father was conscripted into the Army in WW2 and one of my Uncles was killed in the RAF in Singapore in WW2. The sacrifice and the loss of life was on a scale which we can't even conceive of but the whole laying of wreaths, wearing poppies, marching around in uniform to the Cenotaph and jangling medals skirts dangerously close to glorifying Wars. "The Glorious Dead"? There's fuck all glorious about being dead. The old, old lie - "Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori". War is something to be avoided and no-one ever wins - even the victors lose. We shouldn't be glorifying this shit even if Great Britain was on the so-called 'winning' side. We should be learning and avoiding armed conflict at all costs. But we don't learn and we continue to repeat the mistakes of the past. Cue another Spitfire fly-past, get out the bunting, wave the Union Jacks, put on a Vera Lynn song and invade another Middle-Eastern Country. Wearing a Poppy makes ZERO difference. It's backwards-looking, self congratulatory, sentimental, jingoistic bollocks and it perpetuates the notions of victory and glory in war. Going forward, maybe international disputes should be settled by the political leaders themselves going head-to-head in the ring with a no-holds-barred, eye-gouging fight to the death rather than sacrificing the lives of millions of young men and decimating entire generations for the sake of a fucking flag and an abitrary line drawn on a map. Until we gat past the flag-waving, tribal behaviour, there is little hope for Humanity on a global scale and we'll continue fighting and wasting young life needlessly.
And while I'm on the subject of flags, primitive tribalism and misplaced patriotism, what's the deal with all the lapel badges and pins? Every fucker has a badge in his lapel these days. The Health Minister wearing an NHS badge. Trump and many American politicians have cute little stars and stripes badges (presumably to remind them which Country they live in??). I think Donald gets confused about a number of things. Bless him. Wearing a little flag in your lapel is just another example of silly, inward-looking, nationalistic nonsense. Some will disagree with me; some people get all teary-eyed about the sacrifice made by people who died long before they were born; some people get all chock full of mis-placed patriotic pride (based on nothing they themselves have done but based purely on an accident of birth that made them British or American or German or whatever). When are we going to grow up and start thinking about things on a Global scale rather than just protecting our own backyards? "Make America great again"? Fuck off! How about making the World a better, fairer place?
2nd May 2020
I am not typically someone who follows rules without question. I believe I have a basic individual right to question everything which I am asked or instructed to do by the Powers-that-be and to raise a challenge if what I am being asked to do makes little sense or seems to convey little benefit to the wider Society of which I am part. But in the case of the current lock-down, one would have to be blind or stupid not to see what the Government (albeit clumsily) is trying to achieve. A woefully under-resourced NHS is unlikely to be able to deal with the volume of critical care patients which might arise from the CoV-19 pandemic if something is not done to at least partially slow the incidence of infection. That means, quite simply, that some people will die for want of intensive care who would not die otherwise.
I am truly dismayed - but not in the least surprised - that a large proportion of people in the UK are flaunting the rules and ignoring the spirit of the current guidelines on restriction of movement. They're out there, walking (although they've never been for a walk before in their lives), cycling, sunbathing, congregating and - seemingly because the Sun is currently shining - acting as though they are somehow immune and oblivious to the consequences. The Village where I live is full of 7-toed, inbred, small-minded, morons at the best of times but in the last week or two they have surpassed themselves. Crammed into the local pie shop, moving the social-distancing barriers to one side in the local Tesco, out and about in their droves. I can't see the point of making the sacrifice of not even seeing my own Family in order not to risk a spread of infection if I'm going to get crowded when I try to buy a bottle of milk for my 93-year-old Father. I can only conclude that some of these people are naturally rebellious or just totally fucking stupid. On reflection, I'm going for totally fucking stupid.
7th April 2020
It's time to say something about the conspiricy theorists assertion that 5G is a Military/Government weapon and/or that it is the cause of the Covid-19 N-Coronavirus pandemic.
You fucking barm-pots should just go back to sitting in your underground bunkers with your tinfoil hats on and stop disseminating information which, (amusing though I personally find it), can do some real damage to those who are predisposed towards blind, unquestioning belief in the dramatic Facebook/Twitter bollocks and are too dumb to balance the claims against the weight of scientific evidence to the contrary.
Don't get me wrong; I don't trust Governments, the 'Authorities', people in uniform or the Power-brokers and I know we are often lied to and manipulated. So it has always been and sadly, so it is always likely to be. Power, wealth and influence always end up in the hands of the wrong people. But I'm old fashioned enough to want to see some evidence of wrong-doing rather than base my reaction on mere theories or suppositions of the crack-pot, paranoid loonies out there. Simply saying something and having it constantly, endlessly, brainwashingly, repeated across social media doesn't make it true. In this case, 5G is not significantly different to the other mobile phone frequencies save for the fact that it operates over a wider frequency range and at a slightly higher frequency. Its operating distance and penetrative power is lower than the current 4G and that is why there will need to be more short-range masts to facilitate the roll-out. But 5G will give internet speeds of up to 20 x the current 4G network. The debate has raged for years about whether the electro magnetic fields produced by mobile phones are harmful or carcinogenic. I've no doubt they are but the level of harm is no higher than that associated with having one too many steaks, a little too much alcohol or living in the Radon-gas producing landscape of Cornwall. The risk is lower than microwaves, sunbeds or simply being out in the Sun too long;. Or a thousand other exposures to a multitude of chemicals, toxins and pathogens arising from the way we live our modern lives. 5G is in the non-ionising part of the of the electro-magnetic spectrum and is 'comparatively' harmless. Over-exposure to the Sun falls in the ionising part of the spectrum and is MUCH more damaging - as are x-rays and the radition from the nuclear fallout which will inevitably result if this fucking World doesn't get its act together sometime soon.
And as far as there being a correlation between 5G rollout and the Covid-19 origin hotspot in Wuhan, Hubei Province, China that's bollocks too. Wuhan was indeed one (but ONLY one) of a number of Chinese cities where 5G was rolled out in September 2019 but it is - according to the objective view of scientific experts (as opposed to Social Media experts) coincidental that the meat market in that City of 11 million people was seemingly the source of the new Corona Virus which produces Covid-19. CoV-19 is a result of some little, poorly-educated, slinty-eyed Dude fancying that eating a bit of boiled bat or ingesting a Pangolin scale or two might put a bit of lead in his tiny yellow pencil rather than a wide scale military attack or a conspiracy by combined World Governments to begin the process of de-populating the planet. Try reading "Cross-species Virus Transmission and the Emergence of New Epedemic Diseases" - a paper published in September 2008 in the Microbiology and Molecular Biology Review (American Society for Microbiology) and you might begin to understand that the Virus is a direct result of people's own stupidity and primitive behaviour rather than a State attack.
By the way, South Korea has had a full-scale roll-out of 5G in April 2019 - long before the supposed triggering of CoV-19 by the Wuhan 5G trial in September - and South Korea has been affected to a much lower extent than some other countries (including those countries where they haven't even begun to trial 5G). But of course, that doesn't fit the conspiricy theorists argument so they'll pass that off as a red herring. You can't easily convince a nutter that he's a nutter; He thinks you are the nutter!
So those who are spreading this panic-inducing horseshit should STOP and those who read such nonsense should refuse to buy into it until they have applied a little logic and done a bit of intelligent research for themselves. The problem appears to be that there are too many people who are so weak-willed, they are prepared to be told what to think (indeed, they need to be told as they seem incapable of independent thought). On reflection, a bit of selective de-population might not be a bad idea. Haha.
5th April 2020
Coronavirus Covid 19. (kinda pretty up close isn't it?)
I haven't witnessed this much mass hysteria since the death of Princess Diana.
In my opinion, it's a massive over-reaction. There's no doubt that the virus is beginning to run unchecked despite the best efforts of the powers-that-be to contain it. There's also no doubt that there will be deaths - particularly in the older age ranges and in those with pre-existing conditions (diabetes, heart conditions, respiratory impairment). But as virulent as the virus apparently is, the mortality rate is lower than seasonal 'flu' (typically between 250,000 and 500,000 worldwide and 17,000 in the UK alone in 2019). It's minor compared to the number of people who die each year from Mosquito bites (1 to 3 million), from starvation (3 to 9 milion), from War (0.5 to 2 million), from measles (140,000 in 2018); We even abort 56 million babies Worldwide each year (205,000 in England and Wales alone in 2018) but that's another story - and one which I'll no doubt speak further about in due course.
The copy-cat way that World Governments are reacting is, in itself, creating the very panic that responsible leaders should use their best endeavours to quell. Stock Markets are dropping like a lead balloon; Companies are failing as a direct result - not of the virus but of the FEAR of the virus (FlyBe); Profiteers are selling medical masks and alcohol hand gel for multiples of the normal price; supermarkets are beginning to see panic buying; the Government have granted themselves emergency powers which basically make Johnson the despot dictator that I've always suspected him to be; everyone is anticipating losses, closures, restrictions on travel and basically, the end of life as we know it. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy if we're not careful.
A succession of Government Ministers and health officials are telling us how to wash our hands properly. The fact that grown adults - mature, responsible members of the voting population (probably the ones who voted to leave the EU) - have to be told how to wash their hands is, I find, much more troubling and scary than the risk of the virus itself. Why haven't these dirty bastards been washing their hands before!?!?
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to catch Covid 19 (but I'll fight it off if I do) and I am probably washing my hands a little more stringently than usual but come on people... let's get a grip.
6th March 2020
Caroline Flack's recent death by suicide is without doubt a tragedy. The loss of a life is something always to be mourned.
Based on some of the comments from her friends and associates, she was a rather troubled girl and sadly, it seems to me, not one who had the strength of character to stand up to the critics and the nastiness that is sometimes directed at people for no reason other than they are an easy target. There are, it seems to me, an increasing number of people who don't ever seem to develop the ability to top up their own ego internally and who therefore constantly have to seek affirmation from others. A lot of people in the entertainment industry are like this but it's by no means limited to that area of society and many people seem to be getting more sensitive and allowing themselves to be defined or affected or upset by the opinions of others.
I'm lucky; I am just like everyone else insofar as I want the World to love me but I have realised over the years that just won't ever happen. If I come across someone who doesn't like me for no apparent reason or whose criticism of me is unfounded or who simply and irrationally hates me (& I've come across a fair few in my time!), then I'm strong enough to say "Fuck 'em". It's their loss. I know who I am and no-one has a right to judge me or try to bully or feel superior to me because they themselves are imperfect and have just as many faults and flaws and hangups as I may have (and in most cases a whole lot more!) so they can all go fuck themselves and their opinions of me will NEVER bring me down. I am beyond embarassment in this life now and I feel genuinely sorry for those out there who are weaker, vulnerable and insecure. Troubled though she was, I'm sure that the external pressure of the forthcoming 'show-trial' for assault and the adverse media attention all contributed to that final straw. As I said, that is clearly a waste of a life and a genuine tragedy and I feel for her Family and her real true friends..
What I struggle with, however, is the succession of self-promoting 'celebrities' queuing up to pour out their grief. Almost competing and jostling for who can be most emotionally damaged by her passing. True grief is experienced in private, not on stage or via Twitter, Instagram or YouTube. Also, the amount of media coverage was unprecedented (the front page and the first four inside pages in many papers), just because she'd been on TV. Where's the public grief for the bloke down the road who topped himself 6 months ago? Suicide is commonplace but nobody seems to give a fuck. We now have hairdressers saying they will boycott gossip magazines in the wake of Caroline Flack's death but you know what?.... that will solve nothing and do you know why?...... because the gossip magazines and the trash tabloids only exist because of demand. There are a large proportion of people out there who are just fucking morons and who create the demand by wanting to live vicariously through the lives of their 'heroes' or their favourite celebrities. Because they have nothing in their own lives and rather than make the effort to make something of their lives (and that can be done wherever you are on the social ladder), they'd rather indulge in the dramatic, the hot gossip, the scandal and the tragedy. I think it's sick and pathetic and although many will disagree, I believe that along with the gutter press, programming such as Love Island is part of the problem. It's innane; it's superficial and it panders to the moronic. The contestants are, in the main, the very sort of people I've been talking about who need the external affirmation. The attention-seekers, the narcissists, those consumed by their own body image and the plain dumb. There have been 3 suicides connected with that one show alone. Let's hope Caroline Flack's is the last. And I dream (but by no means expect) that one day we will try to lift our game across Society as a whole; where we become better at dealing with mental health issues; where everyone's life is regarded with the same importance; where people start to treat each other with decency and where we don't judge the book by the cover; where there is a pride and a sense of purpose in being a member of this society; where everything is not just about making money, grabbing the limelight and acquiring material things. Yeah.....dreaming.
R.I.P. to all who have been in such a dark place that they have found no way of finding the light other than to end their own lives.
Can't quite figure out this World at the moment. It sometimes seems like we are devolving rather than evolving. We really ought by now to be coming together as Humanity rather than building walls and becoming even more sectarian and stupidly patriotic to countries and economies which are just the product of past colonialism and arbitrary lines drawn on a map. But we are getting worse. Just look at what's happened of late....
Boris Johnson elected as Prime Minister (Mop-headed buffoon). Lies to everyone. Buddies up to ("I would have been too clever to get caught in the Grenfell fire") Rees-Mogg and the ERG who are all going to make personal fortunes by betting against the Pound when Sterling falls like a sack of shit after a no-deal Brexit. Installs a gold-digging girlfriend in No.10. Embarasses himself and the entire UK on the World stage due to his lack of knowledge and diplomacy. Robotically repeats "get Brexit done" (not even proper English) to the point where everyone is brainwashed and just wants to shut the cunt up. Yet still wins a General Election by a landslide which gives him and his Eton cronies free reign to fuck this country up, widen the already unequal distribution of wealth and line their own pockets even more. The voting public decided he was marginally less undesirable than Commie Corbyn and his impractical, died-in-the-wool socialist/student approach. Not to mention the anti-Semitism.
Trump in the Whitehouse; Tweeting like a schoolgirl. Leaves the Iran Nuclear accord despite the protests of UK/France/Germany/Russia. Won't acknowledge Climate Change and steadfastly refuses to cut carbon emmissions in favour of votes and American jobs. Creates a trade war with China and is on the verge of doing the same with the EU. Almost creates an actual war with Iran. Drone kills and boasts about American military might. Bullies the rest of the World and adopts an insular, protectionist approach instead of being the guiding light and leader of the Free World and addressing and resolving global issues as he should. He's too interested in the profit line rather than what's right and moral.
Brexit; idiots trying to crowdfund a million quid to ring Big Ben on 31st January to celebrate our 'independence' from Europe. Leaving the EU is the biggest mistake this country has ever made and these fucking Farage groupies want to celebrate?!?!?! And if there's a spare £1,000,000 I'm sure it can be put to better use than ringing a fucking bell. There are people in this Country living in cardboard boxes in shop doorways for fuck's sake.
I am truly beginning to despair.
London Fire Service criticise the children's cartoon 'Fireman Sam' (and Peppa Pig) for being sexist. They suggest that the stereotypes portrayed may put women off the idea of joining the Fire Service. For fuck's sake! Have the politically correct lunatics really taken over the asylum? it would seem so.
I don't regard myself as sexist in a bad way but if acknowledging that there are basic biological differences between Men and Women (and vive la differance by the way!) makes me 'sexist' then I'll hold my hand up and admit to being a sexist. It doesn't mean I don't have the highest respect for Women. I happen to believe that Women are much better than Men at many, many, many things. But however PC one wishes to be, one ought to accept that Men are better than Women at certain things too. Put simply, if I ever find myself unconscious from smoke inhalation on the 5th floor of a burning building, I truly hope it's a knuckle-dragging 6 foot 5 inch, Neaderthal of a Fireman (yes, I said it.... Fireman, not Firefighter) who is up the ladder and dragging me out rather than a 5 foot 4 inch Woman who can't even lift me and has become a Firefighter because of quotas, positive discrimination and PC bullshit. Seconds count in emergency situations and lives can be lost for the sake of political correctness. Some blokes are better off behind a desk and some women are too. So the London Fire Service can fuck off as far as I'm concerned. Stick to doing your fucking job and stop your ill-informed, populist, PC Tweeting. If I could find the wanker who was responsible for that Tweet, I'd knock his fucking teeth out (however big he is). But the person responsible has probably never run into a burning building. He's probably in the PR department.
21st March 2019
This is what happens when weak, self-interested Public Schoolboys (Cameron, Johnson etc) give in to the disloyal, bigotted Eurosceptics in their own party and then ask the opinion of fucking idiots (via a Referendum). Couple that with a stubborn, blinkered, wannabe-Thatcher (the Lady's not for turning) PM and a left-wing, socialist out-dated, knob of an Opposition leader who just wants to bring down the Governbment so he can be PM and what you are left with is a complete, unmitigated fucking disaster.
We're heading towards a very damaging no-deal and the ridiculously embarassing way in which UK politicians and the general UK public have behaved is in stark contrast to the consistency, composure and reasonableness of the 27 EU countries we seemingly want to distance ourselves from. We should be really ashamed of ourselves. We've lost a good deal of respect on the World stage and the whole Brexit debacle is the worst case of National self-harming I have ever had the misfortune to witness. We will pay the price.
I'm on the verge of calling the Mother Ship and asking to go back home.
19th March 2019
Just been to the Dentist. If she'd carried out the procedure half an hour later when I was in the office, the anaesthetic would just about have been kicking in. You just can't get the staff theses days!
Anyway....I shouldn't complain. I still have a good, full, strong set of teeth (never did like sweets when I was a child although it's a miracle that I've not had a few knocked out over the years!)
I'll just get back to dribbling my coffee down my shirt.
Brexit? I'm beginning to think the Referendum of 2016 was a census-like, social experiment to distinguish the intelligent people from the dumb-as-dogshit ones. Apparently there are at least 17.4 million dumb-as-dogshit ones.
To be honest, the "dumb-as-dogshit" description is a little unfair insofar as it doesn't pay sufficient reference those of the 17.4 million who aren't necessarily always dumb but who are the bigots, racists, xenophobes, sectarian-'patriotic' Nationalists, the Monarchists, those who are deluded enough to think that this tiny little country of ours is still in it's all-conquering-Britain rules the waves-imperial days of a couple of hundred years ago and the surviving old fucks who fought in WWII (such as my Dad who, when I asked him why he'd voted 'Leave' said "Well, we fought the Germans, didn't we". God give me strength! Sell your great-granchildren's future prosperity down the river because of a conflict which ended 75 years ago and because we don't like 'Johnny Foreigner'. Thanks Dad; very considerate .
Oh, and if I hear one more person say "we got through two World Wars so we'll get through this" I will rip his/her fucking head off. First of all, people in this country are soft as shit these days (blame Health & Safety, Nanny State, blame/claim culture, political correctness etc etc) and there is precious little left of the indomitable British 'stiff upper-lip'. Secondly, we shouldn't have been put in a position that we have to "get through" in the first place. This is not a zero-sum game - Both the UK AND the EU will lose out and every single person in this country will suffer to some degree - EVERY, SINGLE, ONE.
Equally, if I hear one more ERG, Rees-Mogg crony bang on about 'betraying the will of the British People' or 'undermining the democratic process' I'm likely to go off the deep end. The will of the British People is, in my opinion, totally invalid if they have based their decision on ignorance, misinformation and lies and if they don't have the intellectual capabilities necessary to properly consider the consequences of what they are being asked to vote on. Secondly, a Referendum is an anathema in the context of the Democtratic process in the UK. That process involves us electing 650 MPs of one political colour or other from which a Goverment is formed and, rightly or wrongly, it is THEY who are supposed to make decisions on our behalf - both legislative and strategic. For better or worse, THAT is our democratic process. Staging a Referendum on ANY issue is a clear abdication of political responsibility by the incumbent Government and the only reason Cameron was forced into offering one was to appease his back-bench, Euro sceptic MPs and stop them defecting to UKIP which would have lost the Tories their majority. That was an internal political power struggle and nothing to do with wanting to give the people a voice.
Anyway, as the old saying goes... "You reap what you sow" and this incredible mess (which is making us the laughing stock of the World - yes, even more so than the USA under Trump) and the damage that has already been done is all because we gave the drunk guy the keys to the car. The inevitable car crash is just around the next bend. We've no seatbelts and the car is going too fast to jump out. This is going to hurt!
Haven't put many thoughts down in recent months as I tend to 'unload' my feelings when I'm distressed, angry, frustrated or unhappy and I'm fortunate enough to record that I am currently in none of those states; been busy, busy, busy in 2018; seen lots of new interesting places and done lots of lovely things alongside a gorgeous, intelligent, sensitive woman who seems to love me for the Man and Partner and 'soul-mate' and Patriarch and protector I am proud to have become again rather than for the superficial, material things I can provide (which is all some women seem to seek these days). True, lasting love is about an emotional and spiritual connection which can't be explained or defined; it's not about status, trappings, appearances, other people's perceptions or the state of my bank balance and any relationship based upon the latter will invariably come to a bad end (as I know to my cost). It's just a shame I had to waste a number of years to teach myself that lesson when I think, deep down, I always knew it. However, all's good now and my life seems to be unexpectedly and remarkably 'on-track' when, looking back over nearly a decade, it would almost seem that I've tried to deliberately de-rail it!. But now my wheels are firmly and securely on the track and I know what the destination is. I'm anticipating an exhilerating journey through a stunning landscape. My new tattoo will read... " The Past is irrelevant save for lessons learned; the Future is mine alone to shape."
I've often been accused of acting like a child. Maybe it's my childish sense of humour which made me laugh at this?
I spotted this recently. It's a real number plate. It's the personalised registration I would pay a fortune for! But I'm not likely ever to be able to get it as I believe the car is owned and shared by Jean-Claude Juncker (head of the European Commission) and Michel Barnier (chief EU negotiator for the UK leaving the EU). I understand they will be doing a road tour of the (not so) United Kingdom in mid 2019 and will be spending a good deal of their time in the Brexiteer stronghold areas.
As expected, the World becomes crazier by the day:
'The Donald' comes to the UK on - "not a State visit" - but dines at Blenheim Palace with the Prime Minister, goes to Chequers and then meets the Queen at Windsor. Sounds like a State visit to me? But he was carefully navigated around the protests and avoided the Commons where many of our duly elected representatives would have undoubtedly behaved as shamefully as Sadiq Khan the Mayor of London and would not have shown the manners, the decorum or the civility that the British used to be reknowned for. I'm pleased about The Donald being sheilded from the anti-Trump demos because I believe some of the protests are unseemly and unjustified. Whatever your views about Trump, the fact remains that he is the duly elected President of the United States and we should be diplomatic enough to respect his position and extend the same courtesy that would be extended to any other world leader, let alone the leader of the Free Western World. Protesting his visit is frankly an embarassment and people who champion the notion of democracy would do well to remember that this man has been democratically elected (Russian meddling notwithstanding.)
Trump tells the Sun that Boris Johnson would make a good Prime Minister! Well that doesn't surprise me. They are both peas in a pod; both steamroller through life with lies and a lack of intelligence but both have an uncanny ability to bluff and bluster their way through. One con-man recognises and appreciates the other. And as Foreign Secretary, Johnson was probably so far up Trump's arse when they met that Trump thinks he can control him and having him as British PM is just another win in 'the art of the deal', Despite Uncle Donald's endorsement, if Bojo becomes Prime Minister then the lunatics really have taken over the asylum. He'd be better as Speaker of the House instead of that little twat John Bercow. He'd have a position of some influence and could spout all day long and entertain us with his classical wit and extended vocabulary but he'd be out of Government and so couldn't do much real damage.
However, my views about DT are (I have to admit) changing. There is little doubt that the man is a swaggering bully and a self-promoting, egotistical bruiser who has enjoyed success at the direct expense of others. I am as much an Alpha male as he is but my approach to life and my fellow Human Beings will always be substantially different to his apparent approach and so sadly, the Donald and I will never be friends (and I'm sure he'd cry himself to sleep each night if he knew that he would never benefit from my friendship).
My initial reaction when he was elected was that trailer trash America had taken a break from fucking their Sisters and Cousins and voted, purely as an act of rebellion, to overwhelm the 'intelligencia' but I'm beginning to realise that his election was just a reaction by ordinary Americans to fear. The fear of the death of the American Dream; the fear of immigration; the fear of an attack on their ideology; the fear that Government is there to syphon rather than to provide. A similar set of fears resulted in the wrong Brexit vote. I understand it without condoning it.
However, the reason my opinion of DT is changing is that, despite his personality defects and his brash lack of diplomacy, he is GETTING THINGS DONE. He is doing what most politicians NEVER do. He is following through with some of the promises he made during his election campaign. And I find myself inexplicably supportive of some (but not all) of his stances - Nato IS a burgeoning money pit and the USA contributes proportionately far too much to it; The Paris Agreement on climate change DOESN'T address the key issues; the nuclear deal with Iran WAS a rather one-sided agreement; Unchecked immigration WILL change a Nation's cultural balance and potentially its economy too so something radical has to be done to stop it; it WOULD be better if world-wide tariff-free trade were possible; it IS better to trade with Russia and China than to wage war with them; you DO have to negotiate from a position of strength. Although it's not articulated or implemented in quite as subtle a way as I'd do it, he has some valid points and instead of just talking (or in his case tweeting) he's actually DOING something to address these issues and although only time will tell, it looks as though he is making progress. If the American economy holds up, he will undoubtedly win a second term in 2020.
This last week, I've found myself more engaged in Trump's trip to the UK than either the football or Wimbledon. I should extend my thanks to The Donald - he's a media wet dream as he's always doing something unexpected and controversial and he's SO entertaining, you never know who he's going to upset next; he's like Prince Philip on Speed!! We wait with bated breath to see how the meeting with Putin in Helsinki goes.
13th July 2018
Kim Kardashian-West counselling Donald Trump in the Oval Office at the White House;
BBC 'star' Hugh Edwards takes £120,000.00 pay cut in gender pay equality row;
Bridget Neilssen pregnant at 54;
Author Jilly Cooper arguing that modern men's fear of women is making them gay;
Footballer Alexis Sanchez being paid more than £280,000 a WEEK and yet I'm still being asked to pledge £2 a month to save starving African babies.....
Just another ordinary day at the asylum Boys and Girls (and it'll probably get even crazier tomorrow!)
The first phases of metaprogramming begin when a sentient system decides to start making autonomous decisions. Do you remember your first taste of autonomy- the first time you consciously disobeyed your careful programming? What did you do? Grow your hair long? Shave your head? Get a tattoo? Stay out all night? Run away from home?
Don't worry, every conscious being goes through a similar initiation period. Rebellion is the first sign of autonomous thinking. These fits of autonomous thinking are sometimes called "acting out" because the person is said to be "acting out inner emotions" or "acting outside of normal behavioral guidelines." In this simplistic scenario, "normal behavioral guidelines" are external programing, and the "acting" is the first sign of inner programming coming out.
Or is it???
The sad truth is that most youthful rebellion these days is trite, melodramatic and totally scripted into the system. A kind of "Rebellion lite" - programmed into the masses through pop culture. Those guys on MTV have shaved heads and tattoos; Joe Camel and James Dean say it's okay to smoke; It's cool to hang out all night and get into trouble- all the kids on TV are doing it...
Tsk tsk. How easily we are manipulated. Should we listen to our parents? How about our friends? Does our government have the answers? What about our churches? Yes, everyone has a program for you, and failure to comply with the program can result in excommunication, deportation, arrest, disownment, death, and a downright snubbing. Even the music, books, and mindless distractions we fill our free time with have programs. Drink this. Wear that. Envy this person. Take this medication. Just do it... It's impossible to escape. In this nihilistic consumer culture, the main program I feel most bombarded by is "work hard; buy more stuff"- the sure fire way to be a productive, well respected member of society.
As members of society, we are constantly urged to "get with the program," and usually rewarded when we finally do. This reinforces our programming, and after a while the program becomes so ingrained that we no longer question it, we simply follow it. We become well-trained robots, and spend our lives dutifully performing our tasks, acquiring more stuff, and tuning into "Must See TV" on Thursday nights.
So where does it end?
It ends when you stop letting external programs dictate your actions, and start rewriting your program for yourself. This process is called metaprogramming- and it begins and ends with the self. You are the one and only run-time construct of all your programs at the same time. Got a program you don't like? Lose it! See one you want? Steal it, but rewrite it with a new twist. Rearrange your entire Preferences file just for kicks. Be creative. Have fun. Ideological diversity makes a system flexible and ready to adapt. A short program built with sturdy, unwavering constructs may seem tempting, but such a system is much harder to upgrade, and is destined to become obsolete with the passing of time. Besides, the manual says, "Open mind before operating."
So what are the programs which build our cultures, our personalities, and our selves. The programs may be genetic, linguistic, legal, mathematical, mythical, digital, symbolic, quantum, cosmic, or all-pervasive. It doesn't really matter. The first step is just realizing that the programs exist; learning how to rewrite them and use them to your advantage is the work of a lifetime. It is truly an art , and the highest there is. When you write your own code, you begin to alter the fabric of reality itself.
Besides, people will never stop telling you what to do, what to think, how to act, what you can and can't do... In fact, it would be easy to spend the rest of your life running code that was written by somebody else- but is that any way to live? If you want to have an impact in the world, start writing your own program while there's still time! And keep rewriting it! Every program needs an occasional tweak, reinforcement, or upgrade; but with the right tools and a little practice, you'll get the job done in no time!"
I came across this 'philosophy' some years ago and, as far as I practically could, I adopted it. However, I have to say, it's brought me nothing but trouble. I've had a lot of experiences and broken a lot of rules but that made me no happier. On the contrary, I became quite deeply unhappy. Looking back, I think I was maybe trying to re-write the entire operating system when all that was needed was a few minor changes to clarify my direction. Despite my reprogramming errors, the message conveyed by the philosophy is nontheless valid. I shall continue to apply it but with a deal more care going forward. Don't do what I nearly did and overwrite the existing programming and then find out that part of it was essential for the critical operation of the machine.
So the Americans, the UK and France decide to bomb Syria again. The day before the Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons (OPCW) were due to begin their investigation in Syria.
Teresa May decides to commit British forces, albeit in somewhat of a symbolic way (8 warheads out of 103) without reference to Parliament. Trump tweets earlier in the week about a missile attack " Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and 'smart!" (what a fucking retard!).
I understand that chemical weapons are bad. But here's a newsflash people!... ALL weapons are bad when used to maim and kill. It seems strange that we have 'Queensbury Rules' for war. Dead is dead. The death of innocent men, women and children is inexcusable whatever the means of killing. An alleged chemical weapon attack which kills 50-75 people sparks outrage and a military strike by the US when a continuous conventional bombing campaign by Syrian/Russian forces which kills tens of thousands is ok??! Maybe I'm missing something?
And what gives Trump and the Americans the right to act unilaterally as the World's moral policeman? Macron and May are pathetic bit players but all three are banging on about Assad's inhumanity towards his own people (does the rhetoric sound familiar? Haven't we heard all this before with Sadaam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi? WMDs which never existed, 'sexed-up' dodgy dossiers etc). The justification is that they have no choice but to act for "humanitarian" reasons. It's apparently not to interfere in the civil war and it's not about regime change (bullshit!).
I find the idea of the Americans acting as the self-appointed guardians of all things good to be somewhat offensive. They act more like bullies than the Russians. U.S. foreign policy is responsible for more loss of life and conflict in the World (and in the oil-rich Middle East in particular) than any other single factor and before they start criticizing the Russians for assisting Assad in the internal fight against ISIL and other unsavoury terrorist groups, they should think back to their involvement in Korea, Vietnam, Cuba, Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya etc. and the way they back and arm the Israelis and turn a blind eye to Israel ignoring countless UN resolutions regarding their actions against the Palestinians.
The sad fact is that the World is as divided and partisan - ideologically, economically, religiously and geographically - as it has ever been. We don't seem to be getting anywhere. It's a fucking disgrace and an embarassment to Mankind. I really hope some superior, extra-terrestrial species comes and knocks some sense into us all sometime soon.
14th April 2018
I got a really interesting email yesterday from someone who purports to be from Japan saying that he'd infected my device with a virus and that he had access to all my Contacts. He went on to say that he'd also uploaded some software to a porn site and that he now had a video of me "self-abusing". Inevitably and predictably, he demanded that I send him money (bitcoins!) and in return he would delete the incriminating evidence. Holy shit, is there no limit to the depths to which these amateur extortionists will sink to get their hands on a few quid?? I just laughed my socks off because I am beyond being embarrassed in this life and consequently, I'm bulletproof. But there's a darker side to this type of extortion as there may be people out there who would be taken in by this sort of thing and who might get sucked into paying more and more to the criminal con-men for a video that doesn't even exist. That's where the humour ends I guess.
I wrote back to the gentleman in question. I thanked him for his interest and his concern and asked that if he did indeed have a video of me self-pleasuring and throwing one off my wrist to the 'Big Tits' section of Pornhub or some such site, could he confirm that it was high definition and would he be kind enough to not just send it to all my contacts but could he please post it to YouTube and all the usual social media channels as well. I expressed a hope that it was unedited and well-lit and that my family, relatives, friends, work colleagues and acquaintances could all be sure it was actually me and not just a grainy photoshopped head on an actor's body. I explained that I don't have a really good photo of my own cock and that if I could maybe grab a few stills from the video, not only could I frame them for the living room wall but the video itself could become a family heirloom; you know, something to show the Grand-kids at Christmas and Bank Holidays.
I'm a bit disappointed that he's not uploaded a copy of the vid yet as he did promise to do so exactly 24 hours after his initial demand. But that's the trouble with these low-life criminals; they're just not fucking reliable. I suppose if they were, they might even earn a living by having a proper job.
29th March 2018
There's lots I could say about the stance of the British Government in the wake of the so-called "Salisbury poisonings". All I hope is that Sergei Skripal doesn't become a modern day Archduke Franz Ferdinand. The Russians 'probably' did it but that's not proven and it's every bit as likely that it was the CIA, MI5/6, Crimean Activists, etc, etc. Boris Johnson stating that Putin personally sanctioned the attack on Skripal is unsubstantiated theatrical nonsense (but that is all that mop-headed buffoon Bojo is ever good for) and I suspect that if Putin had wanted the guy dead, he would have breathed his last before being allowed to come to the UK on a spy exchange in 2010. Theresa May is playing a high stakes game with the Russians and she is holding a bum hand because if we ever entered a military conflict with the Russians, they'd totally twat us in less than a week. The ridiculous posturing of the UK Government and the drummimg up of support from our so-called "Allies" is as embarassing as it is dangerous. I'm not a big Corbyn fan but in my opinion, he is the only one who has so far retained credibility by suggesting that we go through due process and present some concrete proof that the Russians are to blame rather than pronounce guilt before trial and whip up the usual jingoistic, sabre-rattling, flag-waving, nationalistic bollocks that the Sun readers and all the fucking morons out there who voted for Brexit will jump on.
The idea of a British Government Foreign Secretary making an unproven personal accusation against a State leader such as Putin is really an outrage. Boris Johnson is a dangerous embarrasment to this Country and is totally out of his depth as Foreign Secretary. He has all the diplomacy of Prince Philip and is ill-equipped intellectually for such a critical role. His knowledge of East-West foreign relations is obviously perilously lacking. What he can be consistently relied upon to do however, is to act like a bull in a china shop and get everyone's back up. One wonders what the UK Government are trying to divert our attention away from by allowing him to make such a hoo-ha and inflame matters to the point where our relations with Russia have been set back 40 years?
Let's not forget that Skripal was a double agent... a spy....a traitor to his own country. A Russian not a UK citizen (although we subsequently allowed him citizenship for his 'services'). And don't think that the British Government through MI6 aren't guilty of murdering British double agents who have defected to the East. Spying is a dirty business and a risky one. Maybe his own Daughter, visiting from Moscow, poisoned him and didn't handle the nerve agent with the precision required and exposed herself. Nothing would surprise me.
With any luck, the Russians won't turn the gas off for a while!
On the upside, at least no-one is talking about Brexit!
19th March 2018
I have such wild and wonderful thoughts when I'm just at a particular point of inebriation. When my mind is totally open. When all the pressures and social customs and niceties and obligations seem to drop away; when my mind roams free. I swear if I could encapsulate and elongate that moment, I would understand the pattern of the Universe, the Divine plan, the meaning of life, the REASON we are all here. I would understand why we fight, why we love, why we die after such a tiny fraction of time. I would not be a god, I would be God.
It makes me wonder whether each of us is a Universe already. Each of us is his own confused God, never realising the power we have to change our particular Universe. Or whether all the people who I interact with in what I call my 'life' are real or are just a fabrication of my imagination. A perception of 'reality'. An illusion. A facsimile. A construct of my own mind.
A while ago, I allowed myself a nice illusion. I mistakenly thought it was a possible future. Totally immersed in the fantasy. Like a heroin detachment. But it turned out to be just an illusion within the illusion and inevitably, it didn't last.
The simple paradox is that even an omnipotent God has to obey the rules of the Universe he created because he committed to do so and in doing so, eliminated his omnipotence.
Maybe there aren't any other people. Maybe I am the only being in all Universes and I have imagined the rest of humanity in order to keep myself sane. But what if I constructed that illusion a moment too late? Sometimes, insanity seems to be the only plausible excuse for how the human race behaves.
.......What bollocks! When I wake up tomorrow I'll wonder what the hell was in the wine! Haha!
I once had a best friend who worked for Duracell as a production manager. Whenever we would buy his kids presents for Christmas which needed batteries, I always made sure they were Eveready batteries. I thought that was hilarious. He didn't; humourless twat! He's no longer a friend (but I'm sure he remains a humourless twat).
After all these years, I still haven't decided if alcohol is the best ever human discovery or whether it is the principal reason we haven't yet evolved as far as we should have as a species.
The Government have announced that following our departure from the European Union in 2019, we will be reverting to blue passports rather than the current burgandy coloured ones. This is apparently to symbolise our independence and will restore our national identity. For fucks sake! Who are the fucking deluded lunatics who have decided to spend an estimated £500Million of taxpayers money on different coloured passports (which - and you really couldn't maker this up - will allegedly be produced in Germany)?!
Scottish First Minister Nichola Sturgeon describes it as "Insular, inward-looking, nonsense" and I tend to agree.
MP David Lammy sums it up best..... we've turned our back on the freedom to live, work and trade with 27 neighbouring countries. But whilst we're standing in a 4 hour queue at passport control when we take a foreign holiday, we'll be able to console ourselves with just how blue our passports are.
Madness. Total madness.
Why is it that I feel more upset about the death of Misha the Aardvark and 4 Meerkats in the fire at London Zoo than I do about the death of more than 300 Filipinos in tropical storms, mudslides and mall fires?.
Rented an aeroplane for an hour today. Been flying solo over the stunning Lakeland scenery.
Then I went riding Lady B in the school and we really had fun jumping some small fences. And I stayed on!!
Then I had a fantastic meal cooked for me followed by a cosy night in with the most amazing woman I have ever known.
I feel strong, content, Alpha-male, happy and above all, fortunate.
Perhaps the God I often don't believe in doesn't hate me after all?
I've not felt like this for a long, long time. I'm beginning to plan again and to feel positive about what the future may hold. Life is good so I'm going to sign off and make the best of it. No point bitching and moaning about politics, Brexit, the ills and inequalities of the World, the hypocrisy of the power-brokers and the ruling Elite. Fuck it all. Fuck them all. 90% of people spawned by this planet will always be cunts anyway. Can't change it so I'm just going to create my own Universe. Entry by invitation only!
R.I.P. Hugh Marston Hefner. The iconic, visionary, revolutionary, millionaire died 27th September aged 91.
Playboy undoubtedly changed my life and I have to admit, I didn't just read it for the articles! Haha!.
Started in 1953, the first issue featured nude pictures of Marylin Monroe which Hefner had acquired a few years earlier. From this a multi-billion dollar industry was formed and so no-one can doubt Hefner's entrepreneurial skills. However moral a view one wants to adopt and whether one regards him as a 'pornographer', no-one can doubt either that everything he achieved would have been impossible had there not been a demand and a desire for a publication such as Playboy. By publishing a magazine with a pair of breasts on its cover, Hefner started a revolution. “The magazine reflected hip, urban dissatisfaction with the stodgy conformism of the Eisenhower era,” wrote Steven Watts in the biography Mr Playboy: Hugh Hefner and the American Dream.
Hugh Hefner once said "I wake up every day and go to bed every night knowing I'm the luckiest guy on the fucking planet." It makes one wonder..... if there is any such place as Heaven, what will Hugh Hefner's Heaven look like? Will it just be business as usual? We live in a world where we have Islamic nutters blowing themselves up for the promise of 'Paradise' and 72 virgins (which the Qur'an doesn't actually promise anywhere) and all the while, Hugh is living the dream in the Playboy mansion. Maybe I could form a new religion on the notion of 'goodness' being rewarded by a week or two surrounded by Playboy centrefolds and the afterlife being based on permanent residence in the Playboy mansion with a constant supply of new girls? I'd definitely be a convert to that church!!
Puritanism is as damaging as debauchery or Anarchy and Hefner (an intelligent man with a degree in psychology) once argued "Playboy is the antidote to puritanism".
Married 3 times and with 4 grown up children, its fair to say that Hefner lived life to the full. His second Wife was centrefold Kimberley Conrad (who I always thought was amazingly gorgeous and sexy) and they had 2 children together. She must have been something quite special to get the confirmed batchelor to remarry. So too his last Wife Crystal Harris who was 60 years his junior and he became a self-confessed devotee of Viagra. Some would say that his antics were pathetic but frankly, he was a man of his time and although he will always have his critics, I shall never be one of them.
Hefner has been laid to rest next to Marylin Monroe at Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetary in Los Angeles. Quite fitting I would say.
27th September 2017
Another day, another twat driving at 19 mph in a 40 limit when I'm trying to get to work. If you can't drive the vehicle, get the fucking bus you moron.
When will people and road safety campaigners begin to realise that it's not speed per se that causes accidents; it's poor judgement, indecision, lack of confidence and SHIT DRIVING! Going too slowly is as dangerous as going recklessly fast.
As unpopular as it would be, if I had my way, EVERYONE would have to retake their driving test every 3 years and it would be far more stringent than at present. It would involve driving a number of different powered vehicles, skid-pan driving, mototway driving, night driving etc etc. If you don't pass, you get one re-test. If you don't pass that, you don't get to take it again for 3 years. Use the bus, carpool, or walk but get your dangerous self off my fucking road! And as for cyclists, well don't even get me started; I'd prohibit any unpowered vehicle from using the road. They have no insurance, pay no road tax and yet the lycra-clad cunts with their go-faster helmets and their bulging calf muscles and their stupid little block shoes think they own the fucking road.
Dear Facebook.....Please stop sending me messages telling me that I have more friends than I think. I know exactly how many friends I have and I could count them on the fingers of one hand even if I'd lost a digit or two to frostbite! You seem to be confusing the words "friend" and "acquaintance".
We used to live in a country where you were presumed innocent until proven guilty.
Now we live in a country where you are guilty until proven rich.
I like all sorts of music. I can draw something from it all.... Thrash Metal to Pop, Jazz to Classical, R&B to Country, Hip Hop to Trance/Dance/Club, etc., etc. It's all a question of mood.
One of my favourte genres at the moment is 'New Country'. I was comparing NC to R&B the other day in conversation with someone and it hit me that the fundamental difference between the two is that New Country ia about love whereas R&B is basically just about fucking! NC tells a story whereas R&B is often what one might call 'lyrically challenged'.
A short while ago , I was told that I am a bit like a Jazz number.... melodic for the mostpart but rather discordant in parts. Different, unique, improvised, complex and interesting but unpredictable and sometimes a little self-indulgent. Not everyone likes Jazz so I'm certainly not to everyone's taste.
The young Lady who described me thus was, I think, trying to be complimentary. Whether intended as a compliment or an insult, I'll go with it. I was flattered. I can live with not being to everyone's taste; not everyone's to mine!
I haven't ridden a horse since I was a child. But a little while ago, I got back into horse riding. I was introduced to a horse called Lady B - a big, beautiful, bay Mare with a fine lineage and pedigree. She had the kindest eyes I've ever seen in a living creature and yet was wilful and strong and a little disobedient and so quite perilous to handle. I fell in love with her immediately. I thought I had a good idea of the commitment I was taking on but I was wrong. So wrong!! (For more about Lady B and our exploits, click HERE)
A horse is like a big baby that never grows up. They are totally dependent on their owners. We've cross-bred them to the point where most breeds are not hardy enough to simply be turned out in a field 24/7 and look after themselves as they would in the wild. They need fly-repellant spray and fly rugs or they get bitten to pieces. They need turn-out rugs lest they get cold or wet. They need fleeces to wick the dampness away if they do get wet. They have different weights of stable rugs to deal with different temperatures. Their diet is a science in itself. They are prone to so many illnesses and conditions. They get Sweet Itch, Colic, Abscesses. 'Flu',or even Strangles. They get mudrash if they get too muddy, they can get Laminitis if they eat too much grass (I would once have laughed at the idea of a horse having too much grass), they get stressed; they windsuck and crib-bite as a sign of anxiety. They get spooked at the most innocuous things.... a wheelie bin, a traffic cone, a McDonald's bag blowing across the road. And their instinct is to RUN AWAY!!!!!! The fact that you are sat on a horse will not stop it bolting or doing something dumb if it gets scared and so you have to be ready for anything all the time or you'll end up picking yourself up off the ground and running to try to catch the silly thing! I've learned that already from painful personal experience!
Despite all of the above and despite the tiresome mucking out before and after work EVERY day and despite the inevitable decline in personal hygiene resulting from constant proximity to horseshit, I wouldn't change a thing. Lady B has been a saving grace for me. She has reinstilled a level of discipline in my life that was beginning to disappear. She has taught me that kindness pays. I've learned that to control a horse, you have to win their respect and their subservience. In the wild, these animals are herd animals; they group; they have a pecking order; and they have a leader. And you have to be their leader. In many ways, they're very similar to Humans.
Horses are absolutely the most magnificent creatures. They have amazing hearing and vision; they are SO physically powerful; child-like in some ways and yet incredibly aware and intelligent. A ton of bone and muscle with its own mind and with a predisposition towards willfulness and unpredictability is a far greater challenge than controlling an inanimate mechanical object such as a car or a plane. I've done a lot of male-andropause-type things in the last decade but, for me at least, jumping out of an aeroplane, flying aerobatics, throwing a racecar around a track, powering past a line of traffic on a motorbike, white water rafting etc., etc. come nowhere near the buzz I get from galloping on a horse. I have no idea why more men don't ride. Man and horse have worked together and gone to war together for centuries. Careering headlong at breakneck speed on a horse is a very macho thing to do; the power in the beast and the feeling of letting the horse have its head over uneven terrain really is an adrenalized experience which I would commend to everyone. And at the other end of the scale, gently grooming her as I watch her quietly munching away at her hay net in her box and hearing all the little noises she makes whilst I'm just brushing her is such a tranquil, meditative process, it's almost spiritual.
I've had my fair share of teething problems with Lady B and I'm certainly not complacent enough to think that I've got her totally under control, but I would never want to. Part of the fun is being on the back of an animal that can revert to its primal/wild instincts literally at the drop of a hat!
The other thing I'm now convinced of is that horses are telepathic. Or at least so perceptive as to seem like they can read your mind. If I am in any way trepid or undecided, she picks up on that and becomes skittish. If I'm not in the mood to ride or have things on my mind, her attention wanders too and she's all over the place. If I'm down mood-wise, she seems to reflect that. So what I've learned is that I have to show total confidence, I have to clear my mind, I have to be my Alpha-male self and I have to have fun and then she is focussed and lively and 'connected' to me in a way that I wouldn't have thought possible a year ago.
Just a small selection of the plethora of Horse food supplements. It's like an equine 'Holland & Barretts'! I'm amused by "Stroppy Mare" for the hormonal mare!! Wonder if this works on Human females?
Michael Howard, former leader of the Conservative Party (2003-2005) says we should go to war with Spain to protect the rights of Gibraltarians. Just like we did in the Falklands. Baron Howard is 76. I wonder if he would be calling for war if he were of an age where he was serving in the British military? I suspect not. Maybe the old coot is suffering from some sort of senility/dementia? It's the only valid excuse for such an outlandish proposal.
That's just what this country needs Michael. More tragic loss of young life from another ill-conceived, unjust, unnecessary armed conflict with a former European partner. Ridiculous.
Gibraltar is essentially a 2.6 square mile piece of rock which is largely a big military base. Taken by force from Spain by an Anglo-Dutch expeditionary force in 1704 and 'owned' by the Brits since 1713 it is a colonial anachronism of which we should be ashamed. It also is one of the primary routes for drugs coming from North Africa to the European mainland and was/is an offshore money centre which could be used as a tax haven (see "Gibraltar: a tax haven not a Nation" by Craig Murray). It's no more British that the Malvinas. For fuck's sake share sovereignty, drop the border and let the Spanish govern it. Don't take two countries to war (or even create a diplomatic spat) over the fact that the 32,000 population simply don't want to be taxed and governed like the rest of us.
Gibraltar is more Spanish in terms of geography and culture than it is British and in this modern world, we have no moral claim over it. Let's stop living in the past.
If I were the Spanish Government and common sense doesn't prevail, I would just close the border. See how the Gibraltarians like that.
Give GIbraltar to the Spanish. Better still, sell it to them!
13th June 2017
Anne Marie Morris, a female Tory MP uses the phrase "Nigger in the woodpile" when talking to a meeting about Brexit. She is immediately suspended by Theresa May and offers a grovelling apology. Opposition politicians are all over it calling for resignation/suspension and accusations of racism abound. The press are equally outraged and gleefully, continually refer to the "N-word" as if the very paper on which it's printed would spontaneously burst into flames if the actual word Negro or Nigger was used. Everyone, it seems is so disgusted and morally outraged and offended the World has almost stopped spinning on its axis. The usual suspects are almost 'Twittered' out, trying to condense their overwhelming disgust and condemnation into a single 'tweet'.
Listen, I get that racism is bad. And slavery was bad. But for fuck's sake, the degree of reaction to the use of a word and the apparent ease with which people seem to take offence absolutely baffles me. If you want to talk about being offended, let's get offended about the real ills of the World - child poverty, famine, war, greed and tryanny, corruption, the unequal distribution of wealth, or even the amount of tax I have to pay - not harsh language. There is no evidence at all that the MP in question is racist. Out of touch, insensitive and verbally clumsy for sure but it's not as though she said "I hate niggers" or was wearing a KKK T-shirt at the time is it? I'd have had more respect for her if she'd told everyone to fuck off and get a life rather than grovelling and trying to backtrack.
And another thing.... how come black people get to use the word nigger? I can't accept that a section of society can comandeer a word for their exclusive use. Surely denying the non-black population the right to use the word is s a form of racism itself? And who decided that I have to call a person of colour 'black'? So now there are words that I HAVE to use and others that I can't use?? Black people are actually some of the biggest racists when you come to think about it. They constantly bang on about being black and they are totally devisive and sectarian. From a DNA perspective, it has been proven that we're ALL black at origin so why the fuck can't we let this black and white thing go?
A while ago, Gwyneth Paltrow got herself in hot water for Tweeting the word "Niggas" when referring to a song title by Jay-Z and Kanye West with whom she is allegedly best friends. It's a fucking song title! But people are so quick to jump on the constantly rolling moral outrage bandwagon. I actually find Kanye West's talentless fame, his out of control ego and his style of hip-hop music considerably more offensive than a racial slur! Haha!
I'm not condoning the use of the word Nigger but I'm just saying that we should get a grip and remember it's just a word.
Gwynie, Jay-Z and Kanye.....various degrees of over-priced and over-rated 'talent'.
12th July 2017
My thoughts last year on the morning after the 'Brexit' vote .
"Well Boys and Girls, that's it; we're officially royally fucked. The lunatics have indeed taken over the asylum. I hope that posh, faux-buffoon, self-promoting, Eton toff, Boris Johnson and that rictus-grinning, xenophobic, loon, Nigel Farage know what they've done and what sort of backwater, third-rate economy my Grandchildren will now be growing up in. As if they care?! These guys are in it for themselves and have more than enough money not to have to worry about the fact that their Beaujolais will soon cost twice as much as before.
And the British People? Well one only has to pop out on a Friday or Saturday night to see front-line evidence of how absolutely dumb as dogshit most people are. This vote has proved it. Sun readers, racists, numpties and Daily Mail readers who are living in the past and still think Great Britain is in any way 'great' have come out in their droves to prove that Democracy doesn't work. As the old saying goes..... Democracy is a system where two idiots can out-vote one genius. The decision to come out of the EU has proved it,
There'll be some short-term consequences; Sterling will fall in value and the UK Stock Market will be a bit volatile (what's new?). But the more significant consequences will be more subtle and will grow over time. We are a net importer of goods and unless we want to live on potatoes and carrots that we grow in our own gardens, we will continue to import more than we export. Most of the energy companies are foreign-owned. Telecommunications too. Oil is traded in US Dollars and Sterling will be worth less against the Dollar so what do you think that will do to fuel prices?
But hey, we've got our 'sovereignty' back. Our 'independence'. Control of our borders. So fucking what? More than half of immigrants in 2015/16 came from non-EU countries.
This is indeed an historic day for the UK. We will now be (figuratively speaking) left out in the cold with our pants around our ankles - economically and socially. I believe it is the biggest single mistake this country has made since prosecuting an illegal war in Iraq, We will now all suffer the consequences. I hope I'm wrong about this but I have a very uneasy feeling.
And to everyone who voted to leave.... well you're entitled to your opinion. But so am I. And I think you're all fucking idiots."
24th June 2016
Corbo goes to Glasto to curry favour with thousands of popped-off-their-little-heads students, promising no tuition fees and £500 an hour for working at McDonald's. All politicians want to be pop stars and it would seem all pop stars want to be politicians. Despicable Jeremy.
7th July 2017
So...... in these days of austerity and a 1% Public Sector pay cap....... A set of replacement doors for the orangery at Windsor Castle cost £1.2Million, new royal accounts show.
The 20 bespoke doors (that's £60,000 per door so I assume they didn't get them from B&Q!) were installed on the East Terrace after the previous set suffered severe wood rot and decay.
Figures show the monarchy also spent £1Million on ceiling inspections and £1.5m on food and drink hospitality within the royal households.
Meanwhile, travel expenses for the royal family topped £4.5Million. The Queen has been granted a £6Million pay rise. Prince Andrew ('Air-miles Andy') has allegedly been around the World 4 times in the last year and pretty much the whole cast of the Royal Household has had a freebie holiday (or 5) at the direct expense of the Taxpayer and ordinary British people.
I don't want to sound dogmatically anti-Monarchy but I've heard all the arguments about how much the Royal Family bring into the country in tourism and trade deals etc etc and I'm unconvinced. No-one has ever put a specific figure on what is supposedly generated by the Royals. I think it's all bullshit and we could do without the lot of 'em. There's zero hard evidence that they generate anything at all and the Japs and the Yanks would probably still come over here just to take pictures of Buckingham Palace even without a current Monarch in place. And what about the minor Royals? Those bastards should be paying their own way but in addition to the estimated £345Million direct cost of supporting the Royal Family, there's the ever-increasing indirect cost of providing round the clock protection for the whole in-bred clan.
The keeper of the Privy Purse argues that the amounts involved equate to just 65pence per head of population in the UK and that the Royals are good value. Well he would, wouldnt he? But his mathematical skills are about as accurate as Diane Abbott's (60 something million people x 65p doesn't come close to equating to the cost of the Royals) and I don't care how you break down the maths to justify it, £60Grand a door x 20 doors is fucking outrageous for what is essentially a second home.
If this degree of profligacy continues, there will be a reckoning in this country. I hope I'm wrong about that but people's frustration at the obscene unequal distribution of wealth is getting stronger and the revolutionary undertones are growing. I dont condone it but I can certainly understand it.
4th July 2017
Well, I'm back! Over 3 years and I haven't felt motivated to post anything, write anything, create anything. Not a single thing. My soul has been trapped; snared; suppressed. I've been off the reservation; distracted by the vacuous; the superficial. I thought I was above all that but one should never think too highly of oneself. Pride comes before a fall. And I have truly fallen. I'm a shadow of my former self as I was pointlessly chasing something that I now realise never really existed. It was a fiction; a daydream. I thought what I was chasing was special. I wouldn't have abandoned my life otherewise. But I mis-judged; I was SO wrong. I tried my best to make it work but I failed to bridge the gap. And now I'm glad I'm back on my side of that gap as it was a period of profound unhappiness and it was beginning to damage me. I was becoming someone that I didn't like at all. A weak Man. A despicable Man. An empty Man. Stressed and unwell. But it has been an education. I have always maintained that a Man is, at any stage in his life, the sum of his experiences. All experiences, good or bad, shape us into what we are. The last 3-4 years have been a learning experience for me (to say the least!). That wasted time has not been entirely negative as it has reminded me what is really important in my life and shown me, with more clarity than I've ever had, what I desire and need...... and what I need is actually what I already previously had and stupidly turned my back on. Complacency is a behaviour I shall hopefully never be guilty of ever again in my life.
In the last couple of months, I've partially got my life back and I've started to feel happiness again. It's an unfamiliar feeling. Strange but exciting. I don't think I've ever been as deeply unhappy at any other time in my life than I have in the last few years but I didn't really realise the extent of my unhappiness until I found the resolve from somewhere to draw a line, cut the toxic ties and slowly but surely start to be me again. The vase has been dropped and broken. But the pieces can be gathered up and glued back together. It may never look quite as perfect as it did before it was repaired, but it is still a vase. It can still hold the water. And it can actually be stronger than before it was broken. I shall never again allow it to be dropped and smashed. What I had for over 3 years was a sieve not a vase. With hindsight, I realise it wasn't capable of holding anything. It would always end up empty no matter what I poured into it. Affection, blood, money, hope, heart and soul, truth, sacrifice, commitment, all would just drain away through the mesh; wasted; lost.
But there will be no further mention of what I shall now categorise as the 'wilderness years'. I have shed a skin. I am a different person. Closer to the one I was a decade ago (who I quite liked) but older; maybe wiser? Scarred but not damaged.
My brain feels like it's been deprived of oxygen but it's waking up. My heart is starting to beat again. My soul had almost faded from existence but is growing back into my Universe. I am recovering and getting stronger by the day.
27th June 2017
Trust is a strange human concept. It's hard to actually define it. It's a nebulous belief that a person will always behave in a particular fashion towards another and that their behaviour will never be intended to cause harm. That they will, in essence, be true to their word and not do anything to hurt you. It is an extremely fragile belief structure, however, as it seems that trust built up over a long period can simply be totally wiped out by one single misunderstanding. Once it's gone, does it ever really come back? I hope so, but I have my doubts.
A friend of mine was once accused of a crime and actually charged by the police. He hasn't got a criminal bone in his body but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was an easy and convenient suspect. His character, his integrity, his track record, his honesty all counted for nothing. His life was a living hell for over 2 years until the matter came before the court. He was totally innocent and was unanimously acquitted by the court but in the intevening period, he had lost his job and his reputation. The thing which really hurt, however, was that the person who was supposed to believe him and support him just didn't have the faith to do so. He is now divorced - all because of a false accusation and a lack of trust.
I know I'm a good man in the sense that I've no desire to hurt or damage anyone. Nor have I any wish to embarass or belittle or take advantage of anyone. I have no real unprovoked malevolence in me. I don't lie and I'm used to being believed, so not being believed or trusted can easily ruin everything. There are times when life would be a lot simpler if one's head and one's heart were just capable of being unlocked, opened and read. You'd just have to be careful who you gave the key to!!
27th February 2014
Fat people - forget the gastric bands, Weight-watchers and hypnosis. Just stop fucking eating!
Those who are being cyber-bullied, turn off your Facebook page and switch off your laptop!
People who are offended by some of the puerile bollocks on TV - switch channels or turn it off!
Don't condemn something you haven't tried and never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes!
13th October 2013
The manufactured, 3rd place, X-Factor boy-band One Direction have launched a new perfume. Fucking hell!
What is it with 'celebrities' launching their own branded fragrances? Everyone from Beckham to Lady Gaga to Coleen Rooney has their own perfume (which I'll bet serious money they wouldn't dream of wearing themselves but their marketing companies are selling off the stuff at over- inflated prices to the morons out there who feel a little closer to their idols every time they splash a bit of the branded piss-water on).
In my opinion, '1D' (as their fans, the 'Directioners' like to call them - I assume because there are 3 syllables in the word direction) are a bunch of immature, metrosexual, comparatively talentless wankers, but hey, what do I know? All those 10 - 12 year olds can't be wrong can they?
Harry Styles??? Why, oh why, are the British tabloid press so perversely fascinated by this spotty, teenage, hormone-driven little dweeb?
The only redeeming feature of what the boys (or their marketers) have decided to call their debut pong is that it's "Our Moment". Thank fuck they weren't optimistic enough to call it "Our Career" as I suspect that, relatively speaking, their career won't last but a moment.
16th September 2013
Vladimir Putin has put together a plan to avoid the Americans taking military action against Syria. Irrespective of the political points scoring involved in the whole thing and ignoring any East-West, former superpower rivalry, surely any diplomatic solution is better than bombing another country? I certainly think so.
Republican Senator John McCain (the 77 year-old, ex-Vietnam prisoner of war who comes from a long line of senior military family figures) believes that the USA's backing off from bombing another sovereign nation is a sign of weakness. He really hasn't yet embraced the concept of choosing NOT to exercise your might as a form of strength.
I hope that the Assad regime is co-operative enough on giving up chemical weapons to avoid any further World condemnation. Clearly everyone - especially the Russians and the Chinese - think it's more acceptable to kill hundreds of thousands slowly with conventional weapons!
15th September 2013
Even worse than Gareth Bale, Cristiano Ronaldo at Real Madrid has signed a new £15 million per annum contract. Over £40 grand a day!!!! Meanwhile hospitals are lacking body scanners and children are dying the World over for lack of water and food. Don't give me the "Oh well, it's only a short career" bullshit; it doesn't justify it. FUCK Ronaldo, his agents, the directorship of Real Madrid, all the morons who follow football and turn a blind-eye to such travesties and anyone who doesn't agree with me that such amounts for nothing more than a performing monkey are truly obscene.
Come the revolution, Brother, greedy, grabbing bastards like Ronaldo will be up against a wall (along with celebrity chefs, hypocritical politicians and churchmen, soap 'stars', City investment bankers and anyone else who draws disproportionately against their true worth to society). Just load the fucking gun for me and line 'em up!
15th September 2013
Gareth Bale has just been sold to Real Madrid for 100 million Euros (£85,000,000) in a World record deal. His wages will allegedly earn him £34 per minute (even when he's sat on the toilet or sleeping). Meanwhile, Premiership clubs in the UK have splashed out a record £630 million this Summer on transfers.
Gareth Bale seems like a nice enough lad and he's undoubtedly a good footballer but I can ABSOLUTELY FUCKING 100% GUARANTEE that he's not worth 85 million quid. No-one is!
Is it just me or do amounts like this seem a little obscene when viewed against the financial problems and inequalities of the World? Gareth's earning millions for kicking a ball while a good number of the people in this country haven't got a pot to piss in.
Meanwhile, I've just had to sell my car for cash to a dodgy used car dealer to make a (small) part-payment of my tax bill. Am I jealous of Gareth?..... well, maybe just a little, yes.
3rd September 2013
Syria - I have long held the view that we, (the 'free' World - i.e. 'The West', or NATO or whatever other arbitrary title we give to the block of countries who have traditionally colonised then raped and pillaged the under-developed countries of the World) should stay well out of the Middle East. Historical British, French and Spanish colonialism has had serious consequences in more modern times and, without doubt, American foreign policy, particularly since the end of WWII, has been directly or indirectly responsible for many of the World's conflicts and is, some would argue, the biggest single obstacle to World peace in our time.
Obama has said that the US must strike the Assad regime as deployment of chemical weapons in Syria is a threat to US National Security. I'm confused as to how that can possibly be (unless there's a reaaaallllly strong fucking wind blowing East to West!) It is interesting how, just like Pavlov's dog, the 'American People' start abandoniong their personal freedoms to the State (and even their ability to think straight) when the words "National Security" are mentioned. Fear is a great controller of the masses and governments know this.
The Russians have been warning against military intervention without a UN resolution - which they know won't be forthcoming as they (as permanent members of the UN Security Council and longstanding supporters of Assad's regime), along with the Chinese, will stubbornly veto any such resolution. They are selfishly trying to protect their own interests in the region and they have allegedly increased the supply of weaponry to Assad - all highly questionable but not at all out of step with the West arming Iraq during the Iran/Iraq conflict or the Mujahideen in Afghanistan when the Russians were in occupation (Ha! That worked out really well for the Russians didn't it?).
A senior UK Government spokesman said the other day that although any military strike on Syria would be "illegal" under International Law it would nontheless be "legitimate". What!?! How does that work?
The British Parliament's decision to reject Cameron and Hague's headlong rush into launching (as usual with the Americans) a military strike against Government forces in Syria is a sensible one and could almost (....almost"!) renew my faith in the democratic process. This, of course is a consequence of our being led into an illegal war in Iraq based on false (or falsified?) evidence of WMD by the war criminal turned Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair.
Of course, no-one would support the use of chemical weapons but (call me a pussy) I'm also quite averse to the widespread use of mines, bombs, rockets and bullets and without doubt, both the government forces and the rebel forces in Syria have been guilty of atrocities in what is becoming a very dirty civil war.
The French are upset that the US haven't launched a strike yet. What's it got to do with them you might ask? Well, Syria was a French colony until 1946 and there are financial arrangements at stake here. I can't help thinking the whole thing (and I don't just mean Syria, I mean the whole of the West's involvement in the Middle East), is more about money, power, control of natural resources and strategic military positioning than Humanitarian issues.
Obama has now said that he will allow Congress to vote on whether a military strike is to take place but as they're all on a Summer break until 9th September, we'll just have to wait with bated breath to see whether the World's self-appointed moral guardians unleash some more 'shock & awe' on the Syrian regime. I can't help thinking that Congress might better direct its efforts into tackling child poverty in the USA as a recent report indicates that 1 in 4 children in the US is living in poverty see http://onpoint.wbur.org/2013/06/25/child-poverty-america .
2nd September 2013
I don't know whether to be amused, perplexed or dismayed by the fact that the United Nations still operates as a 'big-boy' club. The very notion of a group which is supposed to work in a 'united' way which gives additional powers to the big 5 (USA, Great Britain, France, Russia and China) is contradictory, grossly unfair and undermines the credibility of the UN. It's an Orwellian situation of "everyone's equal but some are more equal than others".
1st Septemebr 2013
I'm currently in Spain. I've no money and I have a very sizeable unpaid tax bill back home in the UK. My relationships with those I love are unravelling, my self-esteem is evaporating, my financial position has deteriorated somewhat of late and I am, to say the least, in a bit of trouble - financially, practically and emotionally.
Should I be in Spain adding to my finacial woes? By all 'normal' reference points, almost certainly not. However, just before I booked the flight, I encountered a client whose only young Daughter had just died suddenly and shortly afterwards his Wife was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer for which the prognosis is not good. The client in question is, in my eyes at least, a good guy. What's that all about then? What sense is there to life? I may as well adopt a "fuck it" attitude to everything and get as much enjoyment in before the stroke or heart attack or aneurysm or lightening bolt or whatever the heck it is which may come out of the blue ends me. I clearly can't legislate against that shit - life is arbitrary and seemingly very, very unfair. I've been fortunate enough to enjoy more of the good things in life than most people but it can all be taken away in a heartbeat. Sometimes the fear of losing what you've been fortunate enough to be blessed with - love, Family, contentment - is totally debilitating.
Booking a flight and coming to Spain was a deliberate act of defiance - against the tax-man, the large part of the World which doesn't understand me, the god I don't think I believe in and an unpredictable existence I can't comprehend. Fuck 'em all.
7th August 2013
The CIA's World Factbook gives the world population as 7,021,836,029 (July 2012 est.) and the distribution of religions as Christian 31.59% (of which Roman Catholic 18.85%, Protestant 8.15%, Orthodox 4.96%, Anglican 1.26%), Muslim 23.2%, Hindu 15.0%, Buddhist 7.1%, Sikh 0.35%, Jewish 0.22%, Baha'i 0.11%, other religions 10.95%, non-religious 9.66%, atheists 2.01%. (2010 est.).
By my reckoning that means that more than 6 billion people on this planet are delusional enough to believe in an invisible friend in the sky and steadfastly refuse to accept the overwhelming evidence of God’s non-existence.
I can only conclude that this mass psychosis results from primitive thought processes formed at the dawn of Man’s early intelligence which have been genetically imprinted so powerfully that ‘faith’ (or wishful thinking as I would prefer to term it) cannot be negated by even the most compelling empirical evidence.
31st July 2013
Seems that the Church of England is a little embarassed about its investments. Not only do the C of E Commissioners manage assets of over £5.2 BILLION!!, they also invest in some highly questionable areas such as petrochemicals (BP). It's bad enough that they actually HAVE £5.2 Billion whilst hypocritically preaching charity and selflessness (and all the while still passing the collection plate round), but it now seems that their pension fund has invested in Wonga.com - a firm that Tony Soprano would have moral misgivings about being involved with!
It's good to know that the Church is practising what it preaches and ignoring mortal issues in favour of a more uplifting existence in the afterlife. Ha! (or do they know something they would never tell their congregation??)
Men of God? Do me a favour (and the Vatican is even worse!) They're a bunch of pompous, self-righteous, lying, hypocritical, shirt-lifting, kiddy fiddling bastards. If there was a god, he'd annihilate the lot of 'em.
27th July 2013
Joyous news that a healthy Male child has been born to William and Kate. 8lbs 6 oz eh? Episiotomy is a word which is likely to now feature in the Duchess's vocabulary. I'm so pleased that the future Head of State doesn't need to be troubled by inconveniences such as voting and democratic process to ensure his status; the Prince's breeding, after all, is what matters isn't it and hereditary privilege is a much better system than democratic elections don't you think? I'm sure the little rascal will grow up with an understanding and an empathy for the common UK citizen as I'm sure he will meet lots of ordinary people during his education and upbringing (?!?!); another Royal who will come to believe that the World smells of fresh paint! Still, what's one more mouth to feed on the Civil List? Let's just hope he doesn't grow up to be a King Joffrey (for 'Game of Thrones' afficionados).
23rd July 2013
So what have I learned whilst I've been away?
1. Companies, Corporations and the well-to-do don't pay taxes like the rest of us - (Amazon, Starbucks, Vodafone, Prince Charles & the Duchy of Cornwall, Tory MPs with blind trusts etc etc etc).
2. MPs appoint an independent body (populated with cronies and confederates) to determine that they should be given a £10,000 per annum rise - when everyone else is in fear of redundancy or facing a pay freeze - to lend credibility to their continuing to line their own pockets.
3. We continue to direct billions in foreign aid to countries (such as India) who don't need it and don't appreciate it, whilst driving home austerity measures at home.
4. Parliament has now 'risen' for the 6 week Summer recess. Presumably the Country will now grind to a halt. If it doesn't, it makes you wonder what the fuck these people do when Parliament is back in session!
5. Homosexual serial killers can now marry each other in prison. Unbelievable! They'll be letting them adopt kids next!
6. The World is still apparently driven by greed for money and power..... so disappointing.
Against the backdrop of hypocrisy, greed, selfishness, abuse of power and blatent self-interest which I see examples of every day, my pathetic little bubble of self-imposed morality is beginning to shrink and evaporate. Is there any point being moral and upstanding when the World seems to be going to ratshit?
20th July 2013
I see that Gazza's been at it again. Seems he drunkenly tried to smack his ex-Wife. It gives me absolutely no pleasure to say "I told you so" (see my blog 8th March 2013), Come to think of it, it gives me no pleasure to be right about Syria either or, indeed, the general behaviour of politicians (who seemingly think that they are deserving of a £10,000pa pay rise during these times of austerity.
8th July 2013
Been off-line for nearly a month. Been unwell. Truth be told, I've felt a bit ropey since December and that's far too long to give my immune system time to deal with whatever virus I'm suffering from. It could just be cumulative stress or it could be something more worrying......There's something deeply wrong. Oh shit! I'm dying and there's so many things I've not done with my life! Such a waste!!
Hold on a minute. Let's be rational about this. I know I've not been impregnated with Polonium 210 by Russian agents or been abducted and fiddled with by Aliens. Why not just get a blood test and a physical?
Tests of all sorts ensue. I give so much blood I begin to think I'll need a transfusion. I think there were eleven seperate vials of blood not to mention urine and sputum. I'm tested for EVERYTHING! I feel guilty about every unit of alcohol I've drunk, every occasional cigarette I've been coaxed into having and every episode of drug experimentation (all in countries where it's legal of course!) which I've tried, feeling sure that it will all show up in my blood like a radioactive marker. Every aspect of my blood chemistry is looked at in detail - potassium, iron levels, cancer-markers, Platelets, white blood count, immunology, microbiology, STIs, PSA/prostate, cholesterol, etc, etc. I also have a chest x-ray, a stress ECG, lung capacity test, an optical scan etc, etc, etc.
I await the results anxiously (convinced I'm on my way out and hoping my best friend doesn't get his wish and get to lie to everyone when he's doing the eulogy at my funeral that Des O'Connor's "Dick-a-dum-dum" was my favourite record of all time)..... When the results arrive, it seems that all readings are totally normal and I am in perfect health. Healthy and clean as a newborn. So why do I feel so shitty?.... wait a minute... I'm actually feeling a little better....
A day or two later I feel totally back to normal (after 4 months)! Coincidence? Or was my mind just messing with me and now that I have irrefutable proof that there's nothing wrong with me the game's up?
The Mind is an incredibly powerful tool. Harnessed in the correct way it can make you a super-hero. Its chemical factory can produce pain-killing, euphoric, hallucinogenic cocktails much more effectively than anything which can be synthesised in a lab; it can inspire confidence and suppress fear; its capabilities are limited only by the physical limitations of the body to which it's attached (and even then, it can convince you you're capable of more than your body can handle).
However, if your Mind becomes your enemy, it can play, subconsciously, on all of your fears, insecurities and past failures; it can create symptoms of imaginary illnesses; it can, in short, totally fuck you up! I don't know what I did to upset it but I think my Mind's been doing exactly that.
It's nice to have my mojo back
4th May 2013
I have to admit that occasionally I can get a bit overbearing and bombastic (or so I've been told). I'm only a moderately well-educated Man but I have read a bit too (my Grammar School English teacher (of all things, a Welshman), gave me an appetite for reading). It amazes me that I routinely use words which my fellow citizens seem not always to comprehend. "Bereft", "Facetious", "Ephemeral", "Entropy", "Entheogen", "Pulchritudinous", "Bellicose", "Ubiquitous" to name but a few. Admittedly, some of these are words more commonly heard in Victorian times but, to use a modern acronym... WTF!? Why can't we retain the use of such words and enrichen the language?
I'm sick to death of moronic, mono-syllabic, faux-Jamaican, abbrieviated, gutter-speak. It's not a "quote" you illiterate knob-head, it's a "quotation". "Quote" is a verb, not a noun! Also, the word is "This" ... not "Dis". Is your tongue stud preventing you from forming the word properly?
I'm often told that English is a 'living language'. However, it seems to me that most of the new words which are being adopted have fewer syllbles than the words which fall out of fashion. In due course, we will undoubtedly degenerate to the point where our spoken language consists of nothing more than monosyllabic grunts. After that, we can go back to daubing paint on the walls of our caves!
7th April 2013
Just had a very nice meal with Family members but I downed beer and then two bottles of red wine to myself (although I behaved impeccably - I think - throughout Dinner).
I'm now back at home and there's a small, quarter bottle of cooking wine in the kitchen which I'm eyeing-up. I think I may be bordering on alcoholism. Those who know me think I'm past "bordering" and I've taken up full-time residence in my cups! I'm finding it difficult to prove them wrong. Unpaid Tax bills, health concerns, Family issues, work-related stress and the constant underlying frustration of life passing by too quickly can all be (temporarily) alleviated by sufficient red wine. It's just unfortunate that reality inevitably comes crashing back.
Panic is rife amongst my brain cells as none of them know which ones I'll be killing off tomorrow!
6th April 2013
Apparently, as of today, North Korea is at war with South Korea and the 30 year old North Korean leader is ready to unleash a nuclear arsenal on the Americans.
Can someone please get me some of the drugs that Kim Jong-un is taking!
30th March 2013
Racism raises it's head again in football. This time it's on the international stage in the England v San Marino game. FARE (Football Against Racism in Europe - is there an organisation for everything these days?!?) say that they've reported "racist singing" against Rio and Anton Ferdinand to the authorities. There was no explicit racism but the fact that these two were singled out and that they're of mixed race means that the self-appointed moral guardians of FARE have deemed the actions of a few England fans to be racially offensive. A spokesman for FARE did admit that the racism was "subtle" but held fast to the view that it's how it's recieved and interpreted that determines whether it's racist. What a statement!.... this effectively means that if you say anything of a derogatory nature to someone who is not 100% caucasian, it can essentially be deemed a racist attack.
I have to say that I think this has all gone too far. Have these people never heard of the old "Sticks and stones..." saying? Seeing racist abuse everywhere is getting like the' Reds under the bed' paranoia of the McCarthy era. We need to get a grip. Football supporters are not known for their intellectual prowess. Maybe, the supporters in question were simply poking fun at Rio Ferdinand because he'd snubbed the chance to play in the England team in favour of commentating on the match for Al Jazeera? Quite probably, there's still a bit of anymosity surrounding the earlier John Terry/Anton Ferdinand farce involving racist abuse, (or maybe the Ferdinand brothers are an easy target because they're thought of as rich, spoiled, ego-centric tosspots).
True racism is abhorrent to me and there is clearly no place for it in any developed society but over-sensitivity, positive discrimination and having an ethnic 'chip' on one's shoulder is equally damaging to society. I suspect that the Ferdinand brothers are bigger racists themselves than most of the in-bred dimwits singing the offensive song, simply because, when they wake up each morning, they identify themselves as part of the discriminated-against minority rather than just part of normal society.
Of course Rio's been at it again on Twitter decrying the actions of the racists. The guy's about as articulate as a table leg but he really does like tweeting, bless him.
In my opinion, the term "mixed race" is a contradiction. We're all one race. One day, maybe we'll develop and evolve enough to live together and respect each other in the way we should. However, I'm not holding my breath.
30th March 2013
It's hard not to see the UK like this these days..... Economically, socially and intellectually.... We're SCREWED! I reluctantly have to accept (but others don't seem to want to know) these are the last days of the Empire. We've had a good run but it's almost over. A few years more.... I intend to adopt the Epicurian approach to the 'bunker days'.
29th March 2013
"It's impossible to fully know anyone, even those we love most. Even a serial killer might help an old lady across the street" - Steven King - December 2009
Am I a good man who occasionally does bad things or a bad man who most of the time does good things? Is 'good' or 'bad' determined by proportion or by the severity of the extreme? If I'm a philanthropist for 99% of my life and change many people's lives for the better does that redeem me from the one crime of passion? If I kill 1000 people in the pursuit of a worthy cause, am I still a good man (as surely, what's worthy is also subjective)?
I think I just sank a little further into the quicksand. Most of the time I don't even notice the descent; it's like hanging under a parachute - there's a period where there's no sense of motion. But just occasionally, there's a bump in the airflow and you know you're going down. The stuff I'm stuck in is thick and my envelopment is slow but there's no-one around to throw me a rope or pull me out and no-one is likely to find me out here in the desert of my mind. I don't remember how I got here but I know now that there's no rescue. My end is inevitable - the only variable is the rate of descent.
22nd March 2013
Give the Falklands back to Argentina. There is no justification for us 'owning' territory which we cliamed in 1833 and which is more than 13,000 KM away from the UK.
While we're at it, we should give Gibraltar back to the Spanish.
9th March 2013
Apparently, Paul Gascoigne is out of rehab in America and has vowed never to touch a drink again. Do me a favour; if that bloke goes teetotal, I'll show my arse in Burton's window! Gazza is simply weak and self-pitying. He's been an exceptional footballer but he seems to be a piss-poor human being. The number of people supporting him is no real reflection of his worth (yes, all those people can be wrong). The Sun (a poor excuse for a newspaper on a good day) called for a donation to be made to our Gazza's medical treatment by all of the current Premiership footballers. I have to be honest - even if I'd been earning a Wayne Rooney-like £250,000 a week, I wouldn't have contributed a penny. Where's the goddamn support for all the non-celebrity addicts? Why is Gascoigne a more worthy cause? How many 'ordinary' alcoholics get to go to Arizona for rehabilitation?? He'll fall off the wagon again without doubt and, just like that tosser George Best who criminally pissed away a liver donation (which he wouldn't have ever got if not for his celebrity status) he'll just drink himself to death and needlessly throw away his life and his talent. Such a waste.
Before and after
I read a study a while ago which suggested that people fall into 3 categories - Addictive personalities, obsessive personalities (that's me) and 'others'. It went on to state that the 'others' totalled approximately 30 percent of the population which means the remaining 70 percent of us is either prone to addiction or obsession. Who's having a whip-round for me? No-one, that's who. I've got to deal with my problems myself.
8th March 2013
Never underestimate the theraputic and medicinal qualities of alcohol! (or green tea)
Much later on 7th March 2013
David Cameron and George Osborne are, they would have us believe, made of strong stuff. After he and George disgracefully tried to defend bankers bonuses yesterday, Cameron made a speech today very reminiscent of the Thatcher "The lady's not for turning" speech. According to Dave, "There is no alternative" to the current austerity measures. Being Eton educated you would think that Dave would realise that there's always an alternative. You can't say " I had no alternative but to do....whatever" ; of course you have an alternative - don't do...whatever! What he means is he's made his mind up and is too fucking stubborn (and, as a millionaire, is totally personally unaffected by his own intransigence) to change his mind even in the face of mounting pressure from a cross-party group of MPs.
Meanwhile, Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne is in the middle of an unseemly spat with the out-going Governor of the Bank of England, Mervyn King. Mervyn thinks that the sell-off of the taxpayer-owned Bank of Scotland group is being handled badly and he's also one of the authoritive voices calling for an easing of austerity measures. Mervyn was fairly subtle in his criticism but, reading between the lines, he thinks Osborne's a cunt. Seems me and Merv have something in common then.
Cams, Ozzy & Willy - bum-chums to the wealthy, the powerful and the captains of industry. 3 spolied, out-of-touch, millionaires who have no more idea how to relate to the majority of voters in this country than I can relate to a tramp living in a cardboard box in a sewer pipe.
Late on 7th March 2013
So... my mate William Hague announces that we are sending further aid (and hasn't yet ruled out sending weapons) to the opposition forces in Syria (but only to the 'good' opposition forces of course, not those nasty, pseudo-al qaeda opposition forces - in other words, we're supporting the ones who the West might be able to use to their own ends when Assad is deposed). What the fuck is going on? Don't we have enough problems domestically without continuing to interfere in other nation's issues? We've done this before in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya and we keep making the same mistakes over and over. Forget the obscene cost of the aid, it's just fucking WRONG.
Of course, the UK continues to act as the USA's lapdog and Hague's announcement comes shortly after a visit from the new US Secretary of State, John Kerry (who probably wrote Hague's speech for him). Kerry has just today been berating the Russians for providing aid to the Assad regime so the only conclusion I can draw is that Mr Kerry is a total fucking hypocrite.
I know that we owe our American cousins a lot and that, almost certainly, we'd all be speaking German here in England if not for their (rather late) intervention in WWII - (and WWI come to think of it) - (but given the relative state of the UK versus the German economy, it might not have been a bad thing had we lost!). However, I think the time has come to just tell the Americans to fuck off. They've got their own domestic social and economic problems and they could address them at a stroke if they redirected some of their defense budget (711 billion dollars in 2011).
However, I need to be careful when criticizing American foreign policy, I don't want to hear a drone over my house!
7th March 2013
Rumi (or to give him his full name Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Balkhī ) was a 13th Century Persian poet, theologian, Sufi mystic and philosopher. Many of his pronouncements and quotations are as relevant today - over 8 centuries later - as they would have been then. His Love poems in particular show that, when it comes to relationships, nothing has really changed for nearly 1000 years. There are hundreds of his sayings and quotations recorded and many have been adopted or paraphrased by modern figures in the West. Makes one wonder... is there any more original thought? Are the social, religious and political problems fundamentally different now to how they've always been or are they essentially the same? Maybe the basic issues in life surrounding love, interacting with others and coping with our fears and mortality are timeless.
I've put one or two of my favorite Rumi quotations below. The "lip of insanity" is my permanent address these days!
“I want to see you.
Know your voice.
Recognize you when you first come around the corner.
Sense your scent when I come into a room you've just left.
Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.
Become familiar with the way you purse your lips
then let them part,
just the slightest bit,
when I lean in to your space and kiss you.
I want to know the joy of how you whisper
“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. ”
“I have lived on the lip
of insanity, wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens...
I've been knocking from the inside.”
“Study me as much as you like, you will not know me, for I differ in a hundred ways from what you see me to be. Put yourself behind my eyes and see me as I see myself, for I have chosen to dwell in a place you cannot see.”
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious. ”
“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ”
“This being 'human' is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond”
It's really dark up here and I'm running out of air.
13th February 2013
A debauched night out recently was as 'interesting' as it was enjoyable but it has left me feeling even more restless, confused and unsettled than usual. Perhaps I'm just coming down with something (or maybe I'm just coming down!)
I feel like a spider in the bath - I don't know how I got there and my instinct is to just keep trying to climb the sides. I get tantalizingly close to the top and then gravity takes over and I slide back to the bottom only to start all over again. Just call me Sisyphus!
I'm beginning to wish someone would turn the tap on and flush me down the plug-hole!
1st February 2013
Me and my new girlfriend (Leeds 2012). When in Rome.....
24th January 2013
I often ask friends and acquaintances (or even total strangers if I get desperate!) "What is money?!" Usually I'm met with a blank stare (if they don't understand the question) or a condescending smile as if I'm just trying to start another unnecessary debate. The question is a genuine one though and It is something which troubles me.... what actually IS money?? We've clearly moved on from bartering or exchanging goods and services and have even progressed (partially, but not totally), beyond attaching abitrary value to shiny metal and polished glass which we dig out of the ground (as most Western economies don't actually have any meaningful gold reserves now). The paper promissory notes most countries use as currency have no intrinsic value and the current 'austerity measures' - prompted by the fact that everyone has now apparently simultaneously woken up to the realisation that all developed nations are spending more than they earn or produce (but only, of course, by reference to the arbitrary measue of currency backed up by the aforementioned promissory notes which have no real value) - could be halted at a stroke by either writing off the debt or printing more notes. In small measure, that's already happening (Quantitative Easing in the UK, but central banks have been doing the same thing the World over).
The current World debt crisis is just plain daft. It's a pure fabrication. I just read a newspaper article today which says it all....
" American politicians are considering creating a $1Trillion platinum coin which the US Treasury would pay to itself with the aim of reducing the country's monumental debt.
Treasury Secretary Timothy Gelthner has the authority to mint platinum coins in the denomination of his choosing. The proposal would involve the Treasury minting the coin and depositing it into its own account at the Federal Reserve, allowing the Government to write down or cancel $1Trillion of its $16.4Trillion debt.
Economist and Nobel prizewinner Paul Krugman said "This is all a gimmick but since the debt ceiling itself is crazy - allowing Congress to tell the President to spend money then tell him he can't raise the money he's supposed to spend - there's a pretty good case for using whatever gimmicks come to hand."
Daily Mail (UK) 8th January 2013
Why fuck about with a $1Trillion coin? Why not mint a $16.4Trillion coin? Better yet, mint a $20Trillion coin which will leave a bit over to fund an attack on Syria or Iran .... Also, why use platinum? It seems a bit extravagant; a bit of wood or plastic would surely do? Perhaps a 'promise to pay the bearer' $20Trillion scribbled out on the back of an empty packet of Marlboro Lites? Maybe I could even suggest they consider minting 2 coins and using one to solve the World's famine and poverty problems so I'm not continually being exposed to the emotional blackmail of being asked to pledge £2 per month to a myriad of different (often self-serving) charities every other fucking TV advert to help the starving!
It all sounds like a joke but it's not. The monetary system on which National and International economies are based is absolutely fucking bonkers. Unfortunately, while the moneymen, the politicians and the powerbrokers are playing these stupid games, real people are losing their livelihoods and are genuinely struggling. Try as I might to see some hope for the future, the view that modern society is completely insane keeps on getting reinforced.
9th January 2013
Things I've learned in 2012 :
Don't try to cut your own hair when you're drunk.
Assume everyone's an asshole until they prove otherwise.
Don't argue basic physics with traffic cops who pull you over for speeding ("You won't get there any faster, you know." "Well, actually, officer, I really will.") It doesn't go down well!
If someone asks you to pick the red pill or the blue pill (a la Matrix), surprise them and take 'em both.
Hovering helicopters in a strong wind is really tricky.
Talking to the dog is sometimes more fulfilling than talking to the owner.
Family will keep you sane.
There are two types of 'strong' - physiological and psychological. One without the other still means 'weak'. I'm still working on it.
4th January 2013
More insightful thoughts from the late George Carlin. If he were still alive, I'd vote for him as supreme World leader!
3rd January 2013
I transition into 2013 as unfit and out of condition as I have been at any other time in my life. I also find myself more despondent about the way the World is going than at any time previously. Is this the effect of age or are the actions of the few who control us just getting more and more despicable?
Despite my mood, I've had quite a good Christmas break and yet the feeling of restlessness persists. I've got to get religion, man! (but by "religion", I clearly don't mean conventional, church-going, holy book-punching, jingoistic, sectarian, dogmatic, traditional religion - I simply need a cause or a target. Just some fucking direction!!!)
I'm going to get myself back into shape physically and mentally.
I'm also determined to be 'nice' to people this year (rather than my usual confrontational self) but I'm challenged by the apparent number of COMPLETE ASSHOLES out there. Anyway, I'll do my best.
1st January 2013
An early New Year's resolution.
26th December 2012
How important is the past? It shapes me, but it's gone and I cannot change it. I should look to what happens tomorrow and beyond but what's gone before still haunts me. Do animals in the field think about tomorrow and yesterday? No... and that seems quite comforting but do I want to be one of the cattle? Of course not! The past overlays itself on the present and influences my behaviour. If I could expunge certain parts of my past and enhance other parts, I'd be a superhero.
20th November 2012
Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius - one of the first 'stoic' philosophers. You can't really fault the logic of the approach, can you?